man code says a man should masturbate often

Fair enough mate. I was surprised at the time as it seemed an unusual thing to say, especially from you.

 

To me, this is what coming to NoFap is all about.
We all recognized that PMO was fucking up our lives. It took me a long time to admit that. I hope you guys know that a lot of people out there are saying this about M; Whats too much M?, people ask. Professionals almost always answer- If its interfering in your daily life then its too much. By definition of the word normal, (look it up), masturbation is normal. I wish the answer of professionals was to the "whats too much M" question was another question or questions. "Do you use pornography?", "How much time do you spend M'ing with P?", "Are you experiencing disfunction when having sex with another person?"

I don't think that the problem is M or O.
Its P and PMO.

I have zero negative affects from M or O or wet dreams. Let the semen fly! I try to have a positive attitude towards sex. I'm not sure that there is anything positive about porn. I don't think that its the work of the devil, because I don't believe in good and evil that way. But P, especially delivered by high speed internet is about one of the most fucked up things a person can do to their brain outside of drug abuse. I justified it because I thought it was "clean" (no chemicals). That was before I knew about dopamine released to the brain by external stimuli.
So to me, this is all about external stimuli (porn). I believe that if we all can stop looking at porn, then the rest will fall into place. The memories of porn, as we M without it, will fade. This notion that we can't separate P from M, I think, is lazy.
Having said all of that, everyone needs to take their own road. Having said that, I won't be persuaded in a discussion by terms like "chaser effect" and "rebooting" and "flatlining". I know that they are foundational to NoFap, but they are anecdotal, and therefore should not be used in a discourse based on logic. Does anyone here want to start a thread on science and logic?
I think you guys are great, and NoFap is great. I admire how everyone takes this seriously, and most here are kind hearted and helpful. So please don't suggest to me that there is no place for me here, I'm not going away unless NoFap puts a gag on me.

 

I think do however you feel like. If you want to masturbate, then masturbate. Nobody is forcing you to stop. Man code or not man code. It is your life. Just respect others' choice. That is all.

 

If you are talking about the man code and girl code shows on that station MTV full of drama fake acting, then i say its full of brainwashing the youth of today. to further downgrade society.... fuck that dude, girls be talking its fine to be slutty, phaggots be talking its fine to masturbate to porn... FUCK OATTA HERE theyre sscum of this age

 

I too have zero negative effects from M or O (other than moral), except for that they lead me back to PMO if I indulge in them. I could try MOing once per week or so, but what's the fucking point in risking going back to the old hell for just 3 minutes of sexual release? Ridiculous. I actually take the same approach with alcohol. Alcohol to me has a disgusting taste, so that's reason no. 1 not to drink it (beer/wine included). But even if it tasted good, then what's the point in risking getting wasted and doing stupid things that you might regret afterwards, if you can have fun with your friends in other, more interesting ways, and drink tea or coconut juice instead?

As to the chaser effect and such, the science behind it is vague indeed. Maybe I shouldn't have used it. But there's probably no reasonable way the OT can only masturbate, forgetting pornography - not with the level of addiction he is in now. I guess it's the Coolidge Effect (which I actually wanted to bring up but confused with Chaser) that is applicable here - the gradual desensitization proportional to frequency of release.

 

I like your points Ekhangel,
I like sex and I like alcohol. But all things in moderation is a good rule of thumb. When a person goes off the deep end with anything, if they don't know how to swim, they are going to have a long battle to get right.
The desensitization in the Coolidge Effect relates to either the same partner requiring longer to achieve orgasm, or frequent new partners requiring a relatively short period to achieve orgasm.
I don't know how the rest of you out there M, but it's way more than 3 minutes of pleasure for me. I also am working on a way to keep P and M separate. I don't have the same anxiety that I read here about the slippery slope.

 

Do you fantasize when doing it? I, if fantasizing, would have the same moral pangs of conscience as with porn, so it's a no-go for me. I will always advocate for exercising actual/mental loyalty to your partner (or ideal future partner) in those matters.

The thing with the Coolidge Effect is that, as you probably know, the brain treats any sort of imaginary or visual stimulation as a "partner", so the more you "change partners", the higher the libido and thus the higher the general exhaustion and desensitization to other external stimuli if you give in to those urges and just keep on wanking without stopping - like the famous rat in the cage was fucking his female rats until he fell dead.

Now, where the OP is: he's just fucked plenty of female rats and is badly exhausted already, so instead of putting him out of cage for a week or two to regenerate, we're telling him to just maybe limit his intercourses to one per hour.

And I am not in favour of the "moderation" rule. Applying this would mean that it's not that bad to steal a thing from time to time or even to murder someone occasionally, if you reaaaally feel like it. The same applies to being disloyal to your partner in many ways, like "occasionally" fantasizing in your masturbation sessions about someone else. The "occasionality" of the deed will most likely not diminish your partner's sense of betrayal.

 

We have really different views on what morality is and that's ok. That's how it should be.
Here's something that you might enjoy. Since I have stopped viewing porn, I have not had one fantasy during sex with my partner. It used to be a necessity for me. I desire him more than ever now. I don't know if that has anything to do with the Coolidge Effect. As far as your other claims, I need to study it further if I were to comment.

 

I guess it might have something to do with Coolidge - you now need less "hardcore" stimulus to achieve an orgasm.

 

On the contrary, excessive masturbation actually hinders your sex drive.

 

A substantial part of this "men code" was a construction of Alfred Kinsey ideology. The emergence of the porn industry helped to spread this ideology, because it was very convenient for them. Before the sexual revolution, men views about sex were different.

So, there isn´t such a thing as a "natural men code". The society is in a constant mutation. The most important is to think about what it is the right thing to do for you. Scientific research also can help you to choose good habits for your health.

 

this is my answer : this reminds me of my first day at the gym , when random guys come to me and tell me what to do to get better results and how to work out .and suddenly one day i was like , am working out my own muscles and am the one who can tell whether am doing good or not since am the one who feels it.it turned out that after 4 months using my own training program, i gained a better body than all of those who were acting like a know it all .my point here is that u experienced masturbating and watching porn , and experienced living without watching porn .so u re the only one who can tell the difference , and whether its good for u or not .personally i know that porn and masturbation had a huge impact on my life in a negative way , and now that i don't pmo and instead working out all the time , keeping my self focused on my job and future , i feel alive and very confident about my self .i feel now that i can do anything i want .

 

Thank you for the link to that Bold & Determined site. I'm on day 1 and it really helpes! I'm alone right now and could easily relapse into PMO, but reading that makes me want to keep my precious seed.

 

also to answer the op questions.
When you do nofap your sex drive does increase. When you fap alot you become complacent with your hand and porn that when it comes to real female interaction you don't have the drive to pursue women because you already had your release. when you build a streak your sex drive is huge because you crave that releaseand the only way to pursue it is to actually interact with women.
As for the scientific studies, well for the most part these studies are all recent so that's why we still hear a lot of people sayin jerking off is good. Also the main reason we say it is good is to justify the actions of a grand majority and so people don't feel ashamed about it. Masturbation is natural and we are all curious about our own bodies but that doesn't mean we should fap alot.
Also now for the kundalini, taioist, sexual transmutation beliefs. The sperm is our seed and when you fap you waste it as it goes into a kleenex. The sperm is our aura/vibe/chakra. When we have sex we aren't wasting it because the girl also has an aura. You are giving her you energy by orgasming but you are also receiving her sexual energy. The whole act of penetration creates a mixture of the two auras. So although you do lose,you also gain.
When you have several partners you mix your aura with many people and so your chakra would become chaotic and unstable.
I hope these answers your questions.

 

"Man code" says that you should fap your life seed away?
So impregnate a woman isn't part of a man code?
I'm sorry... what?

 

I don't believe your man code means the said man should watch porn and fap, but instead (not also) approach girls without anxiety or guilt with the prime target of getting said girls to have sex with said men.

I am certain that this man code you speak of considers porn usage and masturbation as pathetic as we do.

 

yes, a man should have a high sex drive. But looking at pornography very little men would have self control. it just makes you want to fap. It's better to look at some hot girls with their clothes on on youtube and let yourself get hard but don't fap. exercise your willpower. Trust in your own ability to get hard but hold your semen inside of you, or use the power of that erection to go have hot sex with an intimate partner that's the way to get that release that we all need. Hold it in, let it circulate within you, and then With A PARTNER release it all in a glorious orgasm! that's how God meant it to be

 

Good talk NotAfraid , .. Being a men is 1st of all being good in his own body! And Nice picture Aryangor !!