30 days Hard Mode... Realizations so far

Here are my few cents after 30 days of Hard Mode. Keep in mind that I'm being treated for depression by a psychiatrist. I'm also in training to become a zen monk.

Realizations after 30 days
1.- On Exercise: Exercise is great, but if you were also addicted to video games and porn, you probably are addicted to adrenaline. I actually have both an ankle and a shoulder injury due to overtraining (martial arts) so I have done no exercise whatsoever, and have barely found need for it. You run the risk of making exercise into an addiction too, the adrenaline release is somehow related to the porn urges, maybe because you are/were afraid of getting caught watching porn.

2.- Alternatives to exercise: If not exercise, then how do I get rid of the restlesness, right? ok, two answers in my case to that question. On one hand, the pills from the psychiatrist help me sleep. and on the other hand, there's this one thing that's so deeply important: I found myself a mother figure. I found this surrogate mother that gives me hugs and advice like my real mother would never ever give me. Being hugged and loved is super important, more important than exercise, more important than anything.

3.- Parents: I told my parents about my porn addiction. They didn't seem to care that much, they're just worried my lil brother has a paralyzing video game addiction, and they wanted me to help with that. Haven't spoken about it ever since. Which leads to number 4.

4.- Things to consider when helping another addict/depressed person: Do I feel revitalized with this person or do I feel like I expended energy/made an effort during my time with him or her? Always look for things that revitalize you. You risk making the mistake of wearing yourself out in order to get some sleep at night. Some people say you need to spend the extra energy. NO! If you are addicted to edging, orgasm, etc., then you are also an addict for being exhausted/drained. You probably have had a lot of emotionally unhealthy relationships that drained you throughout your life. Do NOT create an unhealthy addiction with gym/other people. You need calm and quiet in your life. Fun. Not necessarily more adrenaline or things to do just because.

5.- On Getting Help: Currently in therapy with an NLP expert. She is THE awesome. GET HELP. NoFap is not about NoFap. It's about all the things you need to do, people you need to meet, to keep PMO out of your life for good.

6.- On Willpower: Of course you don't have the willpower, we were born in the generation without willpower. BUT! Read the article on willpower on Art Of Manliness here http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/01/15/how-to-strengthen-willpower/ which explains that by resisting the urge to watch porn you use tremendous energy. Don't stay near the temptation! You don't "have to be strong". You have to be soft and nice to yourself. You have tried to be strong and have become abusive to yourself. Go get a hug from someone as soon as you stop reading this. Get away from the temptation! Find a study partner! Beg for a study partner! Find people that like hugging! Although...

7.- On making an effort: As a zen student, I do have to tell you to live effortlessly. Follow your instinct and by doing it all the people you need, all the love, all the opportunities, will come your way. Stop being so hard on yourself. Isolating yourself in a place and a time where you are tempted to relapse is just a form of self abuse. The people that want to help you are just around the corner. God is even closer than that.

8.- Self help is corny, most of: Some self help books are not corny. After spending a few years studying under a zen master that quoted ancient chinese texts, I have come to like the bible and some self help authors. Although

9.- On Faith: I know some of you are atheists, so, like Shepherd Book says to Cpn Reynolds in the Firefly Movie: "I don't care what you believe in. Just Believe!"

Benefits after 30 days
1.- Erectile Disfunction: Well, my ED is almost gone. I have morning erections now, which promise to make these next 60 days more difficult.

2.- Voice: Deeper. Awesome

3.- Guilt: A LOT Less guilt

4.- Feeling of Stagnation: Finally moving forward in life, financially and emotionally.

5.- Family: Relationships with my family getting better. More involved. Love my lil sister.

6.- Porn urges: they lessen the more you are away from it. Although...

7.- Horniness: Real girls make you real horny, not just the super hot ones. Ready to oggle some chubby chicks?! XD

8.- Did I mention I love my voice now? It is awesome.

9.- Mental fog: Less mental fog, but more distracted, probably due to the decreased dopamine. Still haven't figured my way through this one.

10.- Anxiety and depression: Still anxious but willing to do things in life. Energy to get out of my room and do shit. Time not spent in my room is spent doing errands, mostly doctor stuff for me right now, errands for family, trying to make some money.

11.- Pessimism: So much less pesimistic it's not even funny! I hadn't even realized I was such a pesimistic douche! I can't even stand the guy I used to be, the thoughts I used to have.

Warnings
1.- Browsing Filters: Get K9! But it won't be enough, because

2.- The time will come when everything will make you horny!. Stay away from temptation, make it easy for yourself, stay away particularly from

3.- Facebook accounts of ex-love partners. Stand clear from those!

4.- Dopamine: Find a way to get the dopamine leveled, or else, face crushing depression. Loving friends, surrogate parents, martial arts, listening to stand up comedy, learning to cook great meals, having sweet desserts, learning pick up artistry, doing self help programs, anything! just get the dopamine. What you do to stay clear from PMO will define and reconstruct your new, improved self.

5.- Other addictions: You might get a different addiction however hard you try not to. I'm currently addicted to DC Justice League comics. If you can't help to trade one addiction for another, then...

6.- Professional Help: Get help from professional people who DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE the threat of new technology addictions! Old people can't seem to understand how one facebook pic of your ex in a bathing suit can send you back in a porn binge. Some people just have an addiction-prone personality, like me, and need medical help.

7.- Guilt: You might feel guilt-struck over not getting this part of you life handled sooner. Might phantasize about what your life could have been. Might beat yourself up about it. This is why you need someone who loves you for who you are today, not who you could have been.

8- This, above all: DO NOT COUNT THE DAYS! I haven't been in Reddit nor here since day 20 or something. In here you read words that can be triggers, like erectile, porn, masturbation, chicks, women, all depending on the sensitivity your brain has developed to cues. No need to come here to keep track of yourself. That's what the counter is for, IT keeps track of YOU! Go do something else! Go get a hug, negra! NOW!

A Huge Thank You

To everyone in this community, to Art Of Manliness and yourbrainonporn.com, to everyone who takes the effort to help all of us recover our sense of self, control over our sexuality, and to bring each of us closer to developing our true potential as the epic mudafukas God intented us to be.

Peace.

 

(This was for VanillaMochi, not sure yet how to reply to a specific post)

Gee, Thanks a ton, man.

Nice avatar... whatever the frak it is XD!

 

Eckhart Tolle was the only "commercial" author that my zen master used to quote.

Also, yes, thoughts are the subtle addictions. Then those thoughts lead to more dense addictions, intoxicating the body-mind through actions in the real world. Some people are addicted to chemicals, some people are addicted to the adrenaline of getting in a fight. The more dense addictions change, but the thought addiction is always present, also the one that really needs to be handled.

Peace, and thanks so much to everyone for their support.