I told my GF about NoFap

I've told my current girlfriend and my ex girlfriend, who I was with before quitting, and am still friends with. They have both been very supportive.

Your girl's responses do sound weird. Like she's doesn't trust you to quit. And that text is troubling. Like what does that mean?
My current girlfriend never brings it up. I do sometimes, telling her about some of the developments in the antiporn movement and such. But she'd never say something like "I hope you're not watching porn right now" like that text you mentioned.

I hate to jump to conclusions but it seems like she has some issues too. Maybe with trust or commitment? I'm intrigued and hope you keep us updated.

 

Many women take it as a personal thing.
When I told my wife of my issues, I didn't go into too many details so as not to offend her.

For YEARS I chose not to tell her anything, for fear of her response. Thankfully, she has been very supportive, and is doing everything she can to help me out.

You did the right thing choosing her when she asked, since any other answer probably would have caused a fight. Furthermore, you did not lie. You actually DO want only her, and that is something she needs to keep in mind. People who have not had this habit/addiction in their life will never really know its hold.

Good luck, be strong for you and your girlfriend, and please keep updating.

 

I was about to take that step of telling my GF..but after this hmmm im thinking twice i think i might just tell her am doing a 90day NoFap challenge and not that am semi addicted.

 

I'm currently on the brink of having "that" conversation with my girlfriend. In fact I wanted to propose to her, but now I feel that this is something that has to come first before I pop the question. It'd be a selfish move otherwise I think, to ask her to join her life with mine, and then drop in "oh by the way I've been hooked on internet porn for fifteen years, the last few really heavily."

I am scared shitless, and reading your post Raiden27d is what I've been afraid of, or worse, that it'll be the straw that breaks the camels back and she leaves me.

But that said, I guess if she does get upset, or lose trust in me for the time being, that's the price I have to pay. She has every right to get mad at me, and it's natural that she may resent me, for a little while, or maybe longer. I have betrayed her, regardless of this being an addiction I've had for over a decade, I chose to keep it my secret throughout our relationship and I'll have to deal with the repercussions of the hurt she will feel, that she may feel those years are tainted by a lie. It's been encouraging to read people's posts about telling their partner and getting support, but reading your post has made me realise I have no right to expect that she deals with this revelation in this way. But if I want to have an open relationship I need to roll the die.

I don't think your girlfriend is acting weird, she's just hurt and acting out at the moment and probably needs time to come to terms with this.

I hope things get better for you both, and thanks for posting, it's strengthened my resolve to come clean about this, and weather the consequences.

 

I just had that conversation with mine - and we need to be aware that it really does affect our partners. We can't kid ourselves otherwise - and it's all the more reason to kill this thing.

What I think we need to do, is continually affirm that we think our partners are beautiful, attractive and absolutely desirable. Because their sense of self-worth is that stake when we prefer pixels to them.

The conversation I had was hard, but I'm going to do my best to make my girlfriend feel absolutely desirable, and wanted. And this is something we need to persist with even when they don't reciprocate our efforts.

It's a reason for me more than ever to kill this beast inside me.

 

This is good advice. Make it a habit to compliment her often.

 

Explain it to her like if it was a drug problem (which is not)
But it's pretty similar. We become addicted to something we can get daily and it's supposed to make us feel good. But as time goes on, pleasure goes down and troubles go up. So in the end, you don't even prefer a pixel than your girlfriend. You hate the pixels.

You need a partner who's willing to help in deep and convoluted issues like PMO addiction...
Your gf has to be that partner. Can she do that?

 

I'm glad to here she's settled down a bit, she probably needed some time to absorb it. We understand that it’s not a sexual reason why we fall into it and most of us here could agree that when we find out that there is a growing body of hard science on this we are relieved, I know I was. You know how fucked up you feel from edging for hours at time thinking that you’re the only one who does it and all the weird category escalation. Then you find out your not alone and there’s a support network that’s growing day by day. Well they don’t have all that, they just take the standard view point that you’re a sexual deviate, so I could imagine the shock, but information and lots of talks should do the trick and if not, you’ve got a hard decision to make about your relationship.

What women need to realize is this is a feminist issue and what we’re doing is what they have been screaming for us to do for years, “look at US not pictures” The benefits that I see from a lot of the posts here is that women, real woman that you know and meet on the street start to transform into amazing people and then we as Men start to feel a rebirthing of our attraction to the opposite sex not the false reality that we get everyday. Just do a quick search on the term “where are all the real men gone” and I tell you we’re there gone, there here trying to claim a part of them selves that was stolen by the image mongers of the skin parade.

 

I told my GF, told her I ned to fix myself but i dont expect anything else from her. In the end this isnt about her its about you... fight this battle on your own, if she was super supportive awesome if not you cant expect anything from anyone, shes not the one that got you here. Believe in yourself brother... I would Tell her your sorry for getting her involved, tell her your working to help yourself. Short simple and strong. Dont create drama, or look for a reaction or say "why wont you blah blah blah". Just tell her its your issue and assure her it has nothing to do with her. She probably feels very self conscious about it any way like im not good enough kind of stuff. Tell her you love her and that your love for her will give you strenght. And if you dont love her.... then screw it dont say anything.

 

If she understands the depths of this addiction, she should be proud that you choose her before something your brain has loved for so long. That means she is wonderful. It sounds like she has some problems with trust. Keep showing her how you care for her and she might become less defensive. Good luck

 

Hey Raiden, hope she's calmed down further from when you first posted. I had a weird experience with mine. At first she was very intrigued by it and it was cool to share information, (though not the forum or my journal lol) then it turned into constantly nannying me about it, and now we sometimes make jokes about it or I share a topic I wrote about on the journal. So I guess just see what happens because each gf reacts differently, hope things are turning out ok!