39 Days of Enlightenment

OK so for those who have read my previous journal (found below) this is attempt number 2.
http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?22391-My-First-Blog-Had-to-be-about-wanking-didn-t-it

My record so far being 12 days straight followed by some meditation induced MO ultimately leading to a few sporadic bouts of PMO and finally a PMO purge just for good measure. I learned many things through this not limited to; a) this is definitely no walk in the park b) video games & alcohol are both stimulants leading to MO/PMO, alcohol much more so c) if I want to conquer the many other challenges I wish to in life I must take this challenge much more seriously.

So that said, why 39 days of enlightenment, well 39 days from now is my Mam's birthday so I thought that would be a fair target to get started, although I will not be presenting her with any kind of commemorative gift to mark the occasion. The enlightenment part stems from my innate desire to live a life more divine with greater purpose than previously.

Objective:
1) to remain fap free for 39 days including no MO

Expected benefit:
1) Greater energy availability transferred into more fulfilling activities
2) Higher self esteem and self worth paving the way for me to comfortably indulge in my first ayahuasca ceremony
3) A greater zest for life
4) Active participation in the causes I hold dear

Boundaries:
1) Alcohol is an absolute no go (this may mean the need to read Alan Carr's (not the not funny man) easy way to stop drinking alcohol)
2) Video games must be limited and if deemed a major instigator of desires to MO / PMO then they must be removed all together
3) Updates to this forum need to be maintained (with or without views or feedback from members)
4) Other users stories must be reviewed regularly (with a biased emphasis on inspiration)
5) Fantasies should not be indulged to the point of frustration
6) If the task becomes difficult I must actively find more methods of support and put in the effort to remain abstinent

Lifestyle changes:
1) Meditation, clean eating, fitness of varied types, positive thinking & challenging goals must all be undertaken
2) New energies must be used to first reinforce the existing positive aspects of life and then secondly to introduce new positive and challenging aspects
3) Marijuana use must be limited to certain (but not all) social events and occasional spiritual solitary experiences. Not to surpass 3 times per week

Anything other than that I will come back to. If anybody reads this and wants to co-op that would be great, if you don't then I wish you the best of luck

D

 

Thanks for the insight Dogwood. I've read hrs of material following that initial link, really beneficial material.

Thoughts so far after 4 days clean; this is definitely achievable, this will take effort everyday to stay clean and I must be prepared for withdrawals.

In addition I have realized that video gaming clearly releases dopamine and that seems to be my immediate go too whenever I am going clean. As I've learned with previous addiction recoveries you cannot use substitutes, they only prolong the recovery period and ultimately avoid the actual recovery. So therefore I must also remove video games (which I actually don't play when I am not going clean).

In addition as my previous failure showed, browsing still images is just another form of porn as is any other activity which substitutes the porn release of dopamine, be it sexual meditation sessions or long drawn out fantasy sessions. These also shall be avoided.

Thanks to everyone on this site for their countless insights. I hope to be able to provide my own over the coming months.

Best of luck and stay strong

 

I removed my smartphone from the mix so no whatsapp for me

 

OK - so time to update. 21 days in and as far as I can remember this is the longest time clean from PMO / MO in at least 7 years, possibly as far back as 20 but 7 is the point I think things really snowballed, this was due to the acquisition of permanent broadband access. So first and foremost success to this point has to be recognised.

How has it been.... Easier than expected thus far however over the past few days it has become increasingly apparent in my mind as to the journey I'm on, by and large because of my increased libido and readiness for a female counterpart. This is something I now need to learn to manage without reaching for porn sites (of which there have been no near misses) or from randomly knocking one out (of which there have been one or two near misses). All in all I'd say life up until this point has been pretty easy thanks to the application of the lessons learned from attempt number one. Mainly; no dating sites, no video games & no endless hours of mental fantasising!

Benefits so far.... a mixed bag so far, well the mix is definitely heavily laden on the side of positives, in fact the only negative I can see or rather two negatives are a deterioration in eating habits and a lack of fitness training. However both of which I would consider more a consequence of an increased spiritual practice of mindfulnesses meditation, leading to a heightened sense of concious awareness,this in turn has resulted in a further detachment from materialistic viewpoints, ultimately resulting in a somewhat lessened desire to maintain physical efforts. A somewhat teasing paradox it feels like currently but one I must overcome if not to ruin my good efforts so far in increasing all round well being.

So overall..... no wanking, no porn indulgence, increased practice of meditation (a life long goal), increased feeling of well being, increased libido, improved communication and interpersonal skills as well as a clearly apparent increased reception from friends and family, decreased quality of food intake and lessened fitness practice. Overall these past 3 weeks have brought around a stupendous amount of personal improvements and I finally find myself existing on or around the level of frequency that I have desired for so long.

There are huge efforts still ahead but at this point in time I see no reason than to feel absolutely positive about achieving these efforts, in turn I'm certain that this continued abstinence challenge is paramount to success. Until the next update, good luck to you all and thanks as always to nofap for providing us with a platform to explore and enhance our lives.

D

 

45 days! Boy did I love them.

Here is to another 45 and many thereafter. Thank you nofap.

Another blog: https://emergingconscious.wordpress.com/

If it catches momentum I will definitely be using it to spread the good word of nofap.

Good luck to you all.