After rejections my urge is huge!

Dont do it! Can you remember why you created a nofap account? Can you remember when you read about how bad porn is for your health and your social life? If you want to masturbate, nobody will force you not to, but I tell you now that after masturbation you will feel 100 times worse than now, so you gotta decide: do you wanna feel a short fake happiness to feel frustrated and bad afterwards or do you wanna resist and suffer a bit now to be able to go to sleep proud of your success. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a real man.

 

I can totally relate. This is actually a normal reaction for us addicts, and an abnormal reaction for normal people. Normal people feel bad for a second but move on with their day. We need to run from those feelings and we use PMO to do that.

At least for me, I used PMO to hide from all of these negative feelings (sadness, embarrassment, rejection, depression, anxiety, loneliness, etc...). So part of NoFap for me is learning how to sit with those feelings, and study my reaction to them, and with a ton of self honesty, mixed with meditation, journaling and prayer (as best I can), I’m getting through those feelings rather than running from them.

As it turns out, THOSE FEELINGS GO AWAY!! Freaking 20 years of me running from them to find out this?!?! And later on in the day or week, they’re no longer so horrible, (until the next time it happens ). But I think slowly I’m learning to be ok with them and they’re effecting me less, maybe?

It sounds like you’ve successfully stopped PMO. Now you might be like me and Need to do some extra work to start dealing with your feelings.

Hang in there! Hit me up anytime if you need support.

 

I think using dating sites this early on in trying to recover from PMO will set you up to fail. I tried dating sites many years back and the rejection is constant, it's harsh and then you might start coming accross as some desperate wierd guy because you get frustrated. I've never worked out how people actually get dates through dating sites, i think it's like an art form in itself. Remember these women (if in fact they are women!) probably get sent tons of dick pics and one line cheesy and unimaginative chat up lines that they get fed up.

It's like what xXPharaohXx said about rejection, i think porn addicts like us get too emotional over it, whereas other people who appear to get regular dates just brush rejection away like water off a ducks back, others are just plain lucky or blessed with flawless looks, charisma or are filthy rich. I used to get far too emotionally invested in my fruitless pursuits at online dating, part of that frustration is probably what helped to fuel my motivation to continue watching porn but that ended tragically.

I've not been on a date or had sex for about 12 years now and i'm like 'meh' then i hear about the problems men get into with relationships, arguments, jealousy, mind games. Man i've known people who are so damn miserable in their relationships but continue just because they get the odd blow job on their birthday and don't know any different.

One of my fears is dating someone, getting married and ending up in a loveless and monotonous relationship where we both sit away from each other staring at our phones whilst i sit there in my underpants watching tv

 

Online dating is the worst man, i've had 5x more success hitting girls' DMs on Insta!

You need to meet them in person as girls are super busy and online you are competing with too many other guys, whereas in person you have much much of her attention

Join something that allows you to meet people...yoga, dance class, group gym session etc