Heys guys.. I'm 18 years old and have been watching porn since the 6th grade. I got heavy into it my sophomore year of high school. I finally realize what it was doing to me about a year ago and for the past year i have tried to make a change. But have completely failed.... I don't know how you guys do it? Its like a hunger that is always lurking, waiting to get the next fap session. I feel so empty every time I do it, but the hunger just keeps me wanting more. I hate everything about masturbation and porn. I hate that it makes me feel so numb and emotionless. I have no drive to really do anything anymore. And yet when I stop for a week I can feel the difference in me, but the hunger is to hard to resist that I end up busting 4 nutts in a day... I hate that it controls a lot of my life. I feel so dirty and unclean. I have watched some pretty sick shit, just to get a 5-10 second high.. So I have finally decided to give this a try and see if you guys could help. I want to do something with my life and be somebody, but I first need to get rid of this addiction. So if you guys could help that'd be great.
First, you're not alone. A lot of people have been exactly where you are, right now, and a lot of them don't even think about doing what you're doing. Reclaiming control of your urges is a seriously mature step to take, and you really need to spend a few minutes considering how big of a step you're taking. It's commendable, and don't think for a second that it's some small and simple choice that people just make. If you look into the neurochemicals of addiction, than you'll see that everything you're saying, about the hunger, the numbness, the binges, the lack of control, it all makes perfect sense as far as your brain is concerned. It's one big, organic machine, and until this point you've been putting pure alcohol in your gas tank. It works instantly, flares off quickly, and doesn't get you very far. Your machine can run on coal, but it takes work and commitment. Coal takes a long time to get going, but it burns for a very long time, and usually gets you to your next fill-up. Porn is alcohol. You put it into your tank, and you get a jolt for a few seconds, then die off. It leaves you stagnant and without momentum until you get another dose. It gives you an easy reward for very little work, and then it's over. The rest of your life, social groups, sports, exercise, occupation, school, skills, arts, relationships... These things are your coal. These are things that take work, sometimes a lot of work, but when you put in the work, you usually get it back, and that reward is the kind of thing that moves a life forward. It sounds like you need to move forward, and the way to do that is to remember that there's a whole world around you, and you've got a whole life to live. This image on the screen, those few seconds of fun, those aren't getting you anywhere. They're getting in your way. They're trying to stop you from living. Your way forward is to invest your time and your attention into your life, to build for yourself that solid foundation, and fill your tank with some good, solid coal, and really get yourself rolling on down the road, wherever it may go.
