My husband broke my heart

im not in a relationship or anything to in particular to give u advice or anything,but all i can say is stay strong ,is porn can lead to having an affair ,the answer is maybe,looking that u and your husband been together for so long maybe he got bored and try to find other option ,maybe its just maybe but i hope that he will not go down that road.

 

This might not be what you want to hear, but you're really going to have to stand up for yourself here. If your husband is really addicted to porn, then that's something he's going to have to deal with on his own. He has to actively make decisions that will lead to his recovery, and they are not decisions that you can make for him. Another difficult thing to accept is that you are going to have to make a recovery of your own (although, it sounds like you might already know that, considering the emotional affair 8 months ago). Porn usage has obviously damaged your relationship, and I'm assuming it's broken your trust a little bit as well. It's going to take some time for you to heal those wounds. My advice is: whatever happens to him, just make sure you take care of yourself first. It's painful, but you're probably going to have to distance yourself from him in one way or another in order for him to heal on his own.

There are so many resources available for partners of porn addicts, even on this forum. Check out the "rebooting in a relationship" subforum (https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?forums/rebooting-in-a-relationship.14/). There are lots of women there who have situations similar to your own, and their husbands/partners are all in varying stages of recovery from their addictions, and you will also find many recovering porn addicts who can give you some perspective on what it's like to be a porn addict in a marriage/relationship. Most of them are very friendly people who will gladly answer your questions, and a lot of them have helped me with healing my own relationship.

I don't know the answer to that, and I'm not sure that anyone does. Indeed, there are many porn addicts who end up having an affair, but I don't know if that means that porn addiction causes an affair. I know that doesn't exactly answer your question, but it's difficult to advise without knowing your husband at all.

I can imagine that it's difficult for you to trust your husband right now. He had an emotional affair 8 months ago (which could mean lots of things, but definitely means a breach of trust), and you just discovered that he is addicted to porn. He's giving you reasons to believe he's not the man you thought he was, so I'm not really surprised that you're questioning whether or not there's more you haven't unearthed yet. Whether or not your husband is having an affair, I'll reiterate my first point: you have to take care of yourself. Don't spend all of your time worrying about whether or not your husband is having an affair. It's not going to make you feel any better and it's not going to give you any answers. Here's a little technique that's helped me with anxiety about that sort of stuff: set a timer for twenty minutes and just allow yourself to freak out about your husband having an affair. This might mean reading stuff on the internet, just sitting with your thoughts, writing in a journal, talking with a friend, whatever. Just allow your brain to go down that rabbit hole of catastrophe, and when the timer goes off, stop. Just let it go for the rest of the day. It sounds counter-intuitive, but it allows you to compartmentalize scary or uncomfortable thoughts. You will feel better, which is good because, like I said, you need to take care of yourself right now.

I don't know what I can do to give you clarity on the matter, but I can promise you that you will get through this so long as you look after yourself. I don't know whether or not your relationship is going to be changed forever. I don't know whether or not your husband is having an affair. These things are going to become clear with time, and in the meantime you're just going to have to practice self-care. You're going to be alright. I'm not great with advice on these sorts of things, but again, check out the "rebooting in a relationship" subforum. There are people there that can help you.