To save my marriage and myself.

I've had problems with sex and porn for as long as I can remember. I was introduced to sex by a neighbor girl when I was about six, and learned from her to keep it secret by lying about it. When I saw porn for the first time a few years later I was all set up to know exactly what it was, to want more of it, and to keep it secret. I was raised in a religious home, so the porn, the masturbation, the secrets, and the lying all made me feel ashamed and worthless, and pretty sure I was on my way to hell.

I guess I've been addicted to porn now for about 30 years.

I'm married to a wonderful, beautiful woman and have amazingly great kids who I desperately love, but I'll lose them all if I don't break this and stop.

I'm pretty good at keeping secrets, pretty good at lying, and as an IT professional I'm very good at finding solutions to problems like how to get more porn and keep it secret.

I've hurt my wife's feelings deeply, and if I want to keep her and my family then I need to end the secrets, the lying, and the porn.

Today is day 22.