Binge Fapping Addiction OVER

A brief background:
- I have been trying NoFap for about a year.
- My longest streak is 4 months. But on average I go 1-2 weeks then relapse.

While it would seem that I was doing OK at not PMOing, I had a huge problem of "binge fapping" where after 2 weeks of NoFap I would watch every scandalous porn video I could and fap about 3-5 times. Then be down on myself and go on a 1-2 week streak again, but the decreased motivation after fapping would mean that I would essentially have a couple days where all I did was watch youtube/netflix.

But yesterday, after having a strong urge to fap since it had been around 2 weeks, I logged on my computer to watch porn but realized I wasn't really interested in the women anymore! I have long realized that most female porn stars (and amateurs) only do it for money, ego, and/or to fill a dark void in their life. But it has taken me until now to really believe that. I believe what triggered this was the long streaks of abstinence, and a moment of self-awareness.

While it may seem that I am celebrating too early, this time really feels different. When I watched that last porn vid I did not finish focusing on the porn in my head. I finished because the urge was strong (I had watched like 30 different videos), but I was no longer thinking about slutty women at all. I still feel that even about 24 hours later. And I never went on a binge afterwards, and do not have the desire to watch novel porn anymore.

Anyways, I have rambled a bit but I would really like to thank you guys for being strong and showing me that there is so much more to life than sex and porn.

Summary: Yesterday I relapsed, but realized that I am not into porn anymore. I really believe that abstinence from any kind of sexual stimulation is important for personal growth but it is extremely hard. Thanks for spreading positive and loving advice in what seems like a very negative world at times. I now not ashamed of being a virgin, and feel that I am no longer addicted to porn.

 

Congratulations on reaching a point of discovery. Keep it up.

 

Thanks. I am very aware that statistically speaking there is a high chance I relapse, but spiritually I feel much better.

Best of luck to you as well.

 

I agree with you. But for me, the physical desire to fap isn't very strong. It is very much a psychological addiction. I.E. I feel lonely, wow it would be great to fap one last time because it is the closest thing to having a girl. Or, wow, I heard a new youtuber made a sex tape. Just this one time I will fap, and it will be amazing, then I will become superman and never fap again.

Those are the sort of rationalizations I make. I think that I have a much higher disgust sensitivity to porn now, and so my addiction will not be as hard to break.