lying

Self protection? Not wanting the responsibility of what you did or do. I’ve been there too, especially when I first joined nofap. I wanted my issues to be because of someone or something else besides me. Keep trying. I’ve not found any judgement in this format, just support.

 

Balance in all things is peace, if life is suffering then humans hold the capability to bring that peace by providing joy, by counteracting the hardships of life.
Truth is not just good it is useful it is a tool, it is the "screwdriver" used to fix balance into place. Lies? Well lies are scotch tape. And I have used plenty scotch tape in my time, my life is still covered in it, to be honest it's barely held together.
But recently I've picked up the screwdriver and got to work. It hasnt been pleasent and at times painful but by god its what I have to do and I'm better off for it and when you find your strength you will be to.
The weight of a lie is emmence let alone the heft of multiple lies. To throw them all out at once can be to difficult to even contemplate. Just start off with converting the small lies to truth if it's easier. Rectify the details and work your way up to the lies that really guilt you or hold you back. Hell you don't even have to tell the truth straight away just putting a stop to new lies, that would be a great start. You will feel so much more free by the end, trust me the consequences of truth may be quick to come but they pass fairly quickly too, and they are nothing compared to the slow crushing weight of a lie. Just deciding that say "in six months time im going to be lie free" will already make you feel better. Good luck my friend and remember, smalls steps will have you arrive at your destination all the same.