I am on day 10 of NoFap. No PMO at all. I have done extensive reading on this site and have found that many people have much of the same things going on as I do. I havent found anyone with the exact situation but I can see how my situation is a culmination of different scenarios I have read about. Basically I cannot remember when i started Fapping or if it was to the computer or without. I cant also recall of it started with regular stuff or fetish stuff as I have been into particular fetishes for as long as I can remember. I even remember back having my first crush, talking to her about these things i like and i can remember fantasizing about them even at a young age. I dont know that I had all of the dots connected back then but I know that I have been aware of it for a long time. With that being said, I grew up to be very good with girls but also to be doing a lot more PMO as time went on. It was always to fetish stuff and get more intense as my tolerance went up I giess. This is something I have found to be true with a few others who have posted with fetish related issues. Anyway, i started having different girlfriends throughout the years, never really fully having my fetish thing figured out, and I was able to partake in normal sexual encounters for the most part. I always had it in the back of my head that the girl I was with was being comapred to one i had rememebred from a PMO session that had to do with my fetish. In my eyes, the real thing didnt always win out. Sometimes I could think it off if i liked the girl enough or she was so attractiveto me that the thoughts wouldnt mix, but some times i would realize that i was kind of dependent on PMO and the fetishes that i like in stead of the girl. Even throughout all pf this, I was still able to get going from just holding a girls hand or having that speciañ look from her and i just figured that my fetishes were part of who i am and that i can compartamentalize the PMO vs relationships. As i have gotten older and more comfortable with telling new girls I date about my fetish right away, i dont even give myself the chance to try and like them. As soon as i know they are cool with my kinks, its all i will talk to them about and if i cant talk to them about it, i am perfectly fine to sit home and PMO to a vid on what I like. I think i have been in a flatline for a few months now. I am talking to 2 different girls who have both embraced my fetish. I never thought I would be confident enough to tell any girl about it and now I have two. I had one serious gf in the past that knew about it and i incorporated it into thee relationship and it was cool. Lately i feel as the though the over load of PMO from my fetish for so long, has made be be only turned on to that stuff. I feel as though i may need a break from it. The issue is that I want to rewire and be able to just be into normal sex and not treat every girl as if she were just some porn star from a fetish film and have no interest in her if shes not contributing to my MO related to the fetish. I dont want to have ED where i can only O from particular fetish things. I am finding that the no PMO isnt terrible for me, but i dont know if i should continue to talk to these girls about my kinks and try to carry on a relationship with them or if this will just hurt me in the long run toward my quest of being fetish free and PMO free. I feel like i have two girls now that are into this stuff that i have repressed for so long, it would be a shame not to indulge. I think i could only keep my kinks to myself for so long that my body forced me to talk to girls about it. I feel like that is how NoFap will be. If i cut off all fetish related stuff, i will be forced to just have normal relationships and normal sex. Idk if i need to not have any texts or talks about it with them at all? Will that just be the same as PMO? If i physically do it with them i know thats better but is it still a hindrance? I hope this all made some sense and someone can relate...i know i wrote way too much but i am just a bit confused is all.
Thats awesome how good you seem with girls nothing wrong with having fetish sex hahaha but get off pmo just so you can get back to loving real girls.
I appreciate that! The thing that is really getting to me is that I used to actually like a girls and focus and a particular girls and be in a relationship. Now I am only interested in my fetish and getting off. The issue is that i am a little too complacent to do this thru PMO or MO based on fanatasies or talking to them about it. I like that I am comfortable and open about my getsih stuff but it has been getting more and more intense over the years through the use of porn and its the same in real life. Once she is ok with one aspeect, i want more and more intense forma of it. It pisses me off right after i O. Whther it be with her or from PMO or MO im like why do I like this crap haha. I think theres a few different issues. I dont know if i want to keep going with the fetish track at all because my ultimate goal is to just have normal sex with complete ease but idk if these fetishes will always be a part of me regardless of NoFap or not
