Honesty is it worth it?

fools’end · Aug 5, 2018

Kenzi said: ↑

I'm with Sparky...
^^^this is how You would feel if she was a escort
Not how she may feel about you seeing escorts.
She should be allowed to make the call.
She should also be allowed to get tested for stds before her wedding if she so chooses..
And if she finds out later (depends on where you live) if she finds out her health was at risk Before the marriage, she may have grounds for divorce.
You guys (PAs) aren't as sneaky as you think you are (refer to the remark - -the only way she will know is if I tell her)
Also, if it's Truly behind you..
What are you hiding from?
In my experience.. Guys who are truly "over /done with something" are upfront, honest, transparent and not ashamed to admit it.
So take the leap.

"Three things cannot long be hidden, the sun, the moon and the truth" - Buddha

Good luck.
Click to expand...

Yes of course that seems like standard practice to get tested before entering a marriage, but still to tell her about a misstake i made several years earlier seems more destructive than productive, and then comes the question of When to tell her. In My opinion it is in the early fase of the relationship or not at all. But letting a girl know that secret in the early fase Will probably result in the end of that relationship. Telling her after marriage seems unnecesary. If we have gone so far as to gotten married that should not be relevant.
Ps. It is not a question of wanting to keep it a secret so i Can do it again. Besides it is easier to tell your girl ”i have been addicted to porn” than saying ”i have slept with transexual prostitute Due to porn addiction”. Not really comparable.

Kenzi · Aug 5, 2018

fools’end said: ↑

Yes of course that seems like standard practice to get tested before entering a marriage, but still to tell her about a misstake i made several years earlier seems more destructive than productive, and then comes the question of When to tell her. In My opinion it is in the early fase of the relationship or not at all. But letting a girl know that secret in the early fase Will probably result in the end of that relationship. Telling her after marriage seems unnecesary. If we have gone so far as to gotten married that should not be relevant.
Ps. It is not a question of wanting to keep it a secret so i Can do it again. Besides it is easier to tell your girl ”i have been addicted to porn” than saying ”i have slept with transexual prostitute Due to porn addiction”. Not really comparable.
Click to expand...

Then why did you ask?
It's because you know it's wrong and the little bit of guilt is there that is telling you it is.
You wouldn't have guilt, if everything was hunky dory.
If it was fine.
You asked the forum and and now you are trying to tell us why you are making this decision...
Well you can do whatever you want, this is anonymous for a reason.... I'd just like to point out the holes in your story.
Don't ask for opinions and then justify... Its very addiction - relapse ready behavior.
Read around... Don't just take my word for it... How many men say "it's something I kept from my wife" & because of that, those women never show up here?
However, Younger and younger relationships are in the SOs section because PA/SAs are giving them a chance.
this, is you protecting your addiction and the escorts and not actually your wife.
Because she would only have half the information.... Speaking as someone whos spouse devolved into hookers and transgendered people and had a affair.
I'm not even saying don't do this again... Because a addict is a addict is a addict is a addict.
I'm just saying, a nonhonest addict is not a healing addict... And your future wife deserves all the information.
It's not compatible.
But if there are issues later... Like PIED or she thinks you are having a affair... Or you do return to a escort and catch something... You are going to have a lot harder time backtracking over a woman's rage... Than if you are honest upfront and if she really loves you, and accepts you anyways.
Because that's your real fear.
That she won't accept you.
And that's all I am going to say on it.
Because that's not compatible either.
Your not giving her or the marriage a chance either.

fools’end · Aug 5, 2018

GhostWriter said: ↑

Yeah, everything @Kenzi said plus:
I defer you to Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. And subsequently, Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Here's the way I see it. You are most welcome to keep it to yourself. That's your prerogative. And you don't really have to tell her. However, if the two of you are exploring one another intimately and learning about one another intimately, if she asks you, and you do not disclose it, then you have been dishonorable and disrespectful to her and the relationship. Now, if you're looking for "Did you ever have sex with a TS?" as a direct and specific question, let's not play semantics. You know what she is looking for if she says "What's your sexual history?" Don't start off playing games, else the entire marriage will be a game until the game ends. Honesty IS always the best policy. And here is the last thing I want you to ponder. If you disclose something in your past to her, and she willingly judges you for it, do you really want to be married to her? What else is she going to judge you for? Personally, I want no part of a relationship with anyone who judges me, and God knows, I've been judged very harshly because of this addiction. I have severed all relationships with those who judge me, for they certainly don't bring any value to our relationship.
Click to expand...

Very true, but i Can understand their judgement as i judge myself. Porn made me go so far and that is not My true way, too see any escort transsexual or not. But i get you guys point we shall see When the time comes what feels best.

Log in

Honesty is it worth it?

fools’end Fapstronaut

Kenzi Fapstronaut

fools’end Fapstronaut

Share This Page