I've slipped up too many times. This time i've told her the ultimatum is in me if I go to P again she does not deserve to have to live with my problem. I love her and want to do this for her. I've removed so much from my life that my only weakness now has been literary porn i guess because i put it in my head "it's not that bad" or "it's just stories." It's weakness and I want to be a stronger man all around. Day 1.. she's barely talking to me, I don't blame her.
Hay BCICAN I feel for you. In one of my past relationships she was not happy about me using P, I tried many times (knew nothing of Nofap) to stop but would give in to it. I know when I have been tempted I rationalise P to myself like you. It's only because I have a ED from it that I found the extra strength to deal with it. That if I want a good healthy relationship with a woman than I need to sort this or bust. With what you're going through now and how you're feeling are you able to take that and fix it into your mind. So when you feel tempted and start to rationalise it, then you have a counter to show you what you will lose if you give in. Sorry this isn't all that helpful, I'm still new and learning this as I go. I just know if I give in then I'm just doing myself over and delaying what I want out of life.
THANK YOU THANK YOU! It absolutely is helpful! To hear similarly from others of what they have gone through and how it hurt their lives physiologically or socially only helps strengthen my resolve. Personally I have a TEDx talk to thank for learning about NOFAP and I am so grateful even in the early going. I have found coming to this site daily helpful. When I mentioned to my girlfriend that there was a group on here for loved ones it even made her interested. To think of how I have acted makes me sick. I know I will one day tell my daughter about how porn and porn addiction can ruin your life and how to avoid it, but one thing that pushes me is to think of doing it and saying at the same that I beat it.
That's fantastic to hear. I'm no expert in women, but I think the fact that you're open and honest with your girlfriend will go a good way with her. They don't like it when guys hide stuff from them. I think even though they don't like some of the things we do (look at P), if guys are open/honest then it shows the girl that she can at least trust the guy. Dishonesty is worse than failure. I could be wrong on that, just what I've come to think. For me just knowing the facts behind P & M and what it dose to us helps. knowledge really dose help with it I find.
Yeah i think the dishonesty in the past years has hurt our relationship even more than the "P." I have been ashamed of myself, that is why I have deleted and hidden. Not any more. Quit the P, Quit the hiding, Quit the lie to the most important person in my life.
That's the way to go. If you can show her that she is much more important to you than the P it could help with her trust and her feeling secure in your relationship.
Yes porn, but to her when I would use porn and not tell her about it, it felt to her like cheating. Either way she was hurt and didn't deserve it and I refuse to make her feel that way again!
