I know some of my problem now...

Hi,

I don't really know where to start. But I guess I have created my own problems, which have in many ways made it difficult for myself.
-I have choosen to lack experience when it comes to sex. I am not religous, but I don't want to have sex with someone I don't love. I have had times where girls tried to get me to have sex with them, but I did not want to. I was not in love with them. So I am in many ways lacking by choise. But now I feel like it is not a choise anymore.
-I have always told myself that I deserve better then a one nigth stand or a random hook up.
-I have always put my friends first. If there have ever been a time where both me and my friend have liked the same girl, I have backed off. I would never risk a friendship I know I will have for the rest of my life for some girl (a long time ago tho, before we got older).

But all these reasons, and maybe some more have made me lack experience both when it comes to dating and sex.

I will admit that the thougth of starting to date someone scare me a bit now. If the dating works out great, and we get to the part where we have sex, I am a bit scared because I don't have experience in that area.

I like to belive that once I find the one I want to date, she will accept me for the lack of experience. But what shes perfect in every other way? Everyone got their faults and problems.

Not long ago there was a girl that was interested in me, and I actually really liked her. But in many ways I have been afraid of starting dating, both because I am scared to get hearthbroken and because I lack experience.

Not only do I lack experience when it comes to sex, but dating in general.
I have only really dated one girl. And I felt safe about telling her that I lacked experience regarding sex, but we did not get to that part. But what if I like a new girl, and I am unsure how she will deal with it?

Any tips? I understand the experience comes from working and doing. But I am not able to work and do, because I am kind of "blocked" or "locked" myself with some weird mindset.

Im in the early 20s, and I understand that I should not feel there is something wrong with me, but I do...

Not only that is anyoing. I am a kind that looks for the "soul mate" or a very perfect fit. I have always had a focus that I don't want to date someone just to have sex or to be dating someone.

Both friends or girls have asked me many times why I am single. I always try to get away with it by saying that I don't want to rush into anything and I know what I am looking for. I sometimes tell them that I still want to focus on myself too, including the "not to rush into anything".

I have also been told I am very good looking (Hope I don't sound like an douchebag) by saying so. But I just want to say it how it is and what I have experience. Just this week I was at a college party, standing with a group of 6-7 girl and one other guy, and like 3-4 of them was telling how handsome I was. Sorry if I sound like a douchebag...

But I will tell this too. I sometimes can have a hard time speaking to new people. But I have improved on that part a lot lately. Both to men and women. But I still have a lot to work on there too, (but by this I mean talking to people with not thinking of ever dating them).

Thanks!

 

Thanks!

For me personally, I don't need to wait until I get marrid to the girl, but I need to feel love. But if I find a girl that wants to wait and I think she is the perfect girl, I will wait for her.

It is true what you say. If a person does not like me for who I am they don't deserve me. They will be a waste of time and I will deserve better.

 

Hi again,

Thank you so much for your respons and words!

I totally agree with you! Sex for me is sure a "good feeling" for many, but to me it is a lot more to it. It is an expression of love as you say.

I guess in many ways I still have to figure out what love is to me, but I am sure what it is at once. Maybe I am weird. But I know who I love and what I love, but I am not sure I can put words on it.