Does porn determine your sexuality?

hmmm interesting point, it isn't gay, it is desire. Perhaps we have grown to desire "gay" things, for example, many guys claim to watch so much porn they get HOCD or gay intrusive thoughts from relating the penis to pleasure, which leads guys to assume "gay" things because you know, anything with two guys is gay (sarcasm but please think introspectively). So what is gay? If it is desire, then is that in the mind only?

 

Yeah I guess porn normalises the unnatural, gross and the replusive. We become desensitized, It becomes the new normal. Its hard to reverse the damage after years of conditioning our minds, irreparably we become unisexual through porn. Its hard just to think of one gender when watching porn because it usually involves 2 genders. We get confused when our physical body is getting aroused but our minds are saying, that's not how I was born, not how I was brought up, its against my values but here I am getting aroused by stuff which is taboo to me.
We need to retrain our minds, but just like a recovering alcoholic, we can always relapse.

 

Can television influence and manipulate the masses? YES.
Can people start liking a song initially irrelevant to them, simply because the radio keeps repeating it? YES.
Can you get used to the taste of food you usually don't like, but is forced to eat by necessity? YES.
Can Youtube, Facebook, Twitter, turn people into narcissistic sociopaths? YES.
Can Pornography change your desire and the way you relate to your body/pleasure? YES.

So, the answer to your questions is: YES, OF COURSE. Have no doubt - anything that enters your body through your senses will affect your identity/personality - and sexuality is probably the most targeted/affected field (because it is over sensitive by nature). Porn is EXTREMELY subliminal.

But (in my view) this is not the main issue to worry about - human sexuality was not meant to be "one" - it is fluid, inter-changeable, open to innovation, and adapt to any circumstance that affects your body (PTSD, for example, can cause ED). It is up to you to accept or not a pornographic suggestion as part of your sexual persona.

But there is another issue...

Sometimes I was afraid to be "turning into a transexual" after watching related stuff. Now I can see this is only appealing to me because there is something there, buried beneath my memories, that makes me get aroused by the idea of being someone else, of different gender. It was always there, hidden, but I never wanted to explore. Pornography gave me the key, and caused a lot of confusion.

So, the central point here is YOUR CHOICE - and that's exactly why PMO addiction is so dangerous - because it makes you feel that you have no choice, you became slave to your fantasy while in fact it destroys your will, making you unable to reinvent yourself the way you want/desire. Porn can trigger desires, but that doesn't mean it can implant something that was not there before (except if becomes a routine, BRAINWASHING). After all, it leads to no satisfaction: because porn is not real.

 

So, are you saying porn makes people gay or does it just give people "gay" intrusive thoughts. I'm trying to ask/say, is there a thing as gay in nature? It has always been male and female together to make a baby. Where in nature is there room to be "gay"? I don't think nature intended men and women to be homosexual because that would lead to no offspring and now to think of it, I do not think homosexuality was a problem to begin with until we defined it and mention it. Because in nature I'm assuming animals are looking for their gender-counterparts to procreate, not looking for homosexual activities for "fun".

PS: you said that PMO can affect your identity/personality so I am assuming you are saying that PMO influences but does not determine it. So we are being peer pressured, more or less, by these sexual thoughts which is misleading us and our opinions. So, I don't think we are turning gay. I think we THINK we are turning gay. We are not turning gay, we just attracted to homosexual activities for whatever reason.

 

Gay is a social construct based on the grouping of different categories of behaviour referring to homosexual/unusual desires. It is gay to wear women's clothes, but it is not gay to fight MMA - the first should be considered a heterosexual desire (since I am interested on elements that differ from my gender), while the latest one is clearly homosexual (two guys sweating together while trying to make the other "submissive"). Yeah, there is definitely an inversion here.

Gay people tend to believe they are "different" (and politics/religion play a big role to convince them) but, in fact, the only thing that separates gay / non-gay is the homosexual act per se. Not even homosexual thoughts/desires could "turn someone gay" - if the person doesn't have the will, or courage, to experience homosexual sex. I think the same applies to other perversions - cautiously being scrutinised by the pseudo-scientific discourse in order to fundament political/legal/cultural practices. Turning anything "homo" into "gay" brings a lot of confusion and stigma - but it can help to defend vulnerable people, and avoid suffering (those who decide, for example, to reject certain roles of gender - a father that become a drag-queen is not necessarily a "homosexual", but can be seen as one and persecuted for that). Not sure if this struggle is worthy the fight, at least not for me; (as a gay man myself, I detest most of things usually associated with gay and I think gay marriage is pure heterosexual indoctrination to enslave homosexual couples into marital duties).

The worse part is when people generalise everything as if they were part of a big conspiracy to "destroy family": transpeople=pedophilia=SM=gay. (...but that's how politicians make their careers, isn't?).

 

Nowhere and everywhere. Nature doesn't make this distinction. Nature cares about pleasant/unpleasant. That's all.

But that doesn't mean homosexuality is not natural, since most animals can perform homosexual acts (masturbation included - it could be seen as a homosexual act, right?).

But, in fact: Human Sexuality has NOTHING of natural, as humanity itself is almost totally detached from all the other living beings in this planet. If we were to mimic nature in order to remain "natural" we should also accept the positive role of hermaphrodites (worms are hermaphrodites, and have been around for much longer than our species).

Humanity, in a way, is unnatural by nature. But it can't get conformed with that. The argument that the only reason for sexuality is to "produce offspring" is pseudo-darwinist crap appropriated by a decrepit religious discourse (in a time when religion was desperate to be taken seriously by the wrong people: the "scientists"). It derives from the philosophical concept of "Natural Law".

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_law

The last thing human sexuality seems to be worried about is to make babies (thank god! Because there are already too many people polluting the planet, and less is more). Sex-for-pleasure-only is probably one of our greatest achievements as species - and a better way to control population growth (the other option is war and genocide).

"PMO influences but does not determine it."

Exactly! That's why I think the issue here is more about self-control and will-to-power, than will-to-truth or abstractions about your identity. There is no truth about "who you are", and you can always change - but we should be strong enough to decide "what we want", especially when it comes to our desires. That's where PMO makes the mess.

 

I just want to say that I have nothing against homosexuals, I just want to know the what, how and why's, I basically don't understand shit and want to know more.

Hmmm we may be on two sides of the fence here. Why do you think people get homosexual thoughts? When I ask you what is gay, I meant specifically the homosexual sexual acts only. If one gets an impulse to carry out "homosexual" acts, where did these thoughts/ideas come from. Feeling precedes thought, so why do we feel this way? Nature or nurture, essentially is what we are debating here.

When you say pleasant/unpleasant, are you speaking about what allows nature to flourish and what kills nature?

And I can break my arm a thousand different ways and all animals can too.

When you talk about human sexuality and then talk about humanity itself, it confuses me, unless you mean that since all of humanity is lost, why don't we just lose everything else that makes us natural? Also, can hermaphrodites have babies? If they can, it depends on the functioning of their reproductive systems, which nature did not intend that, something else did.

You can do whatever with "sex", because what you want to do is up to you, but nature did make sex and it was intended for a male and female to have sex in order to make babies, that's why we have sex. Just nowadays we have become so perverted and desensitized.

Well, population is another topic lol but this world can sustain the population, if we all got together and helped out but we spend that money on being paranoid of each other and wars which I think is all proproganda, an element of greed seems to have a part in this but why do we become greedy, what for. What does it cost for a life, have we been so lost and misguided that we don't see these things? People of nations see it but not political figures, aren't they suppose to represent us...

 

No and that wouldn't make sense, otherwise after getting into porn I should be straight yet I'm the exact same as I was before I even got into porn.

Porn can influence and make you think stuff since its good at that, but after you quit you should go back to how you were before.

 

Exactly, m8. The shit warps your mind... It's nothing but deceit and lies.

 

I hope you don't mind my ramblings...

If we take a look at your height, you can say that your height is either formed by nature or nurture - were you destined to grow that tall, or did you grow that tall because of what you were fed and how much sleep you got?
The answer to the height question is both. Each of us has a natural maximum height that we could grow to but the height we achieve is based on how we are nourished as we grow.

The same can be applied to sexuality. We have a natural potential, a leaning perhaps, but it is our upbringing and experiences that take us to our full sexuality. And, unlike our height, our sexuality never fully matures, it will keep developing as we grow older as more and more experiences weigh in.

As a thought experiment, imagine a straight man who lived in a world with no women. He would likely have a sexual experience with a man and find it lacking but could continue on, or maybe he would refrain from further experiences. If that man then saw straight porn, he'd be awakened to the idea and that would become his sexual goal. As animals, we have an innate desire to have sex and an innate leaning towards a gender, but our wider desires are built upon by experience.

So does porn determine your sexuality? I would reject the term determine, because no, of course it doesn't. Does porn affect your sexuality? Certainly. Porn opens you up to a realm of sexual activity that you may have never imagined in your whole lifetime, and its right there in HD, open, clear, zoomable, rewindable, and with never-ending variety. It undeniably shapes who we are and how we will see the world, sex and the people around us.

Lots of gay people in particular will look to porn for an outlet because they don't see gay people in their normal life and want to know what being gay looks like. The information they receive is obviously not representative and extremely damaging.

Porn can open us up to sexual leanings that we may have innately but may have suppressed or not been aware of. But importantly, we should be living in a world where we're gently exposed to other sexualities in day to day life, rather than in the extreme visuals of porn. And porn can also trick us into thinking we like something when in fact, we just like the sexual rush of dopamine.

In short, porn is a poor substitute for proper sex education.

 

The truth of the matter is that we actually don't need to have a sexual release at all. There are people that practice semen retention (having sex without ejaculation), meaning that they aim never to ejaculte (unless aiming to have a child).

Stopping PMO for 99 daya helps you to erase extreme visuals out of your head and become more sensitive to regular sexual stuff, like an attractive regular human being. And in turn, by being more switched on to these base sexuality, you'll seek out more opportunities and a girlfriend will come.

You're not running out of time. Try NoFap and treat it as an experiment. Cut porn from your life and mould yourself into the person you want to be.

Good luck!

 

I'm like you, got into that mind altering stuff as well. I thought it was a normal/natural progression, but now I know that my mind has been hijacked. Porn has warped our minds and convinced it in a slow progressive manner, that we like more extreme and novel things. The more weird, the more we get off on it, until you realize that you're getting turned on by TS P. You should definitely stop P. Give us an update please!