Hi everyone! I'm back. Last time I visited nofap.com was about 5 months ago. And all this time I was suffering because of my addiction... you may think why I wasn't visiting the nofap community. Probably the biggest reason is that it didn't want to. I thought that I will fap and it is okay and nothing will change, but eventually, it did. I have a girlfriend now but we yet had sex, so I masturbate instead to fill up that desire for sex. I know that is not okay and I realized that I can't do this anymore. Furthermore, I was watching bisexual porn, so I think it affects our relationship even more. Today I take 7 days challenge and ask for support from you guys! Please help me become a person I want to... Bless you all and I hope you are doing well!
7-Day challenge? How about cut it off forever? Say within yourself that you are finished with this garbage that destroys your potential. Problem is this: PMO messes up your ability to have a normal relationship with a woman, is that what you want? To become the person God created you to be, you decide firmly within yourself that you are done with it, ask forgiveness and start the reboot. Reset your counter by clicking on it.
Hi @countitjoy5! Thank you for your replay. I see your point, but I just don't think I can cut it off forever. It is so difficult. I know that in a more religious perspective everything is more strict, but in perspective of the more social side is that you have been honest with yourself. I just don't think I can stay longer than a week. But we will see, it definitely won't be after seven days I relapse, I will try to keep the reboot going. But just in case I relapse I won't be hard on myself.
That's a limiting belief that you can't be done with it - tell yourself that there is no such thing as sexual fulfillment outside being with the other person that you're supposed to be with. Anything outside of that will bring endless misery upon you.
Hello Dontask - I'm glad to hear that you've come back to this. This shows you are willing to change - you need to remember this though - you can only change for yourself AND NO ONE ELSE! I also felt the same way as you in terms of porn influencing my sexuality - but hunni - you can't change who you are - just embrace it without the porn. The seven day challenge is awesome it will really give you time to re-evaluate who you are sexually. If you do notice improvement - keep things going day by day. If you can go 7 days without porn then you can go another 7 days and then another... Dontask - you're doing great, and who knows you're girlfriend might have an open mind.
Hey, I don't believe it's entirely realistic to aim to stop it forever, especially not this early on, because it sets up this expectation that you somehow must overcome your problematic habits completely and if you fail, you'll be disappointed. However, I think aiming to keep on increasing the amount of days you can go with no PMO is far more achievable. For example, if you go a week without doing it, then two weeks, three weeks, a month, etc. and keep building that up, eventually, you will actually achieve the end goal of stopping things forever. I know some people will disagree with this, but I feel as though setting up smaller, achievable goals is more pragmatic and can still lead to the same end result, minus the extraneous struggle and disappointment.
When you're done with it, you're done with - take the door, slam it, lock it and flush the key down the toilet. If you coddle it, don't expect it to ever go away. It's a belief, a conviction, a resolve. If you fail, get back up and start over.
The thing is I've tried this but always not managed to maintain this without stumbling over a hurdle. I thought that weaning off (which is essentially what you're suggesting) would be a great way to stop for good but it hasn't worked for me. Again, as iterate, I can only speak for myself.
If you leave the door cracked, it will come charging back in that's assured. If you leave the door cracked that means you still want it and don't believe you can live without it.
Well, you're saying that like you expect that it should be easily achievable, and you're getting disheartened by not being able to stick with it. Any change is difficult, and they all take a lot of time and effort to get used to. You will always stumble upon hurdles with everything that you do in life, and especially with things like this, but you have to persist.
@Daniel S. @countitjoy5 @931213tish Hi everyone! I love you all. You are amazing! So much inspiration! All of us have different ways of fighting this, but the purpose and aim are what makes all strategy same. I will be honest, it's difficult for me right now, I just fight with myself when actually I have to collaborate. Usually when people talk about ”the fight with myself” I think that they just don't know what they want, but actually, that is not the case, so all this nofap thing also changes me as a person. I will try to be strong, I was thinking to write a letter for myself. I will let you know how everything works out. I hope all of you are doing great! Greetings from Lithuania!
I would try to quit cold turkey for your relationship, As the longer u watch porn you began to become more obsessed and change genres to worser ones with pmoing, going 30 days at least will definitely help u and don’t worry if u relapse try again and learn from the mistake.
