New Fapstronaut aboard!

Hi everyone,

It is complicated to explain why I joined, but I can say that I have been having the desire to stop PMO since a year already.
I don't remember when I started doing it, but what I know is that I do it since I can do it, which is more than 10 years now.
I remember stopping it for 3 weeks as I was hiking in the wilderness 2 years ago, which led me to a wet dream, but this was no personal choice, I just didn't have the possibility to fap. Since then, I never really made a break. I usually PMO once a day or every two days, depending of the mood.
During the last years, and especially when I was with my ex-gf, I started thinking about this habit.
First, the porn I was looking at was getting weirder. I needed something special to get turned on, not just some normal porn. Sometimes I would just start doing it, just because I had free time and no other things to do, and sometimes I would just stop before orgasm because the porn I was looking at wasn't enough and I got bored.
The sex with my ex-gf was not good either: I was rarely turned on, and when I was, I could last for an hour with a semi-hard and no orgasm at the end. I know this is not normal, since I am 25 and healthy, and I used to be rather the PE type. As I did PE, I wished I could stay longer, but now that half of the time, I don't even finish, I wish I could PE. However I didn't care so much about this girl, so it wasn't a big deal at the time.
Since a year I have a new gf, which I really love, but I still have the same problems. I thought it was porn, so I tried to masturbate without it. It lasted one month, I had exams, felt stressed, relapsed.
I want a healthy sexual relation with her, I want to be turned on every time I see her naked, because she deserves it. I don't want to PMO as soon as she is not around, because the usual sex isn't good or enough. This is not healthy. I want to change, for me and for her, and I think that stopping porn alone won't be enough.
I landed on this site yesterday, I don't know exactly how. I am happy to see that I am not alone, that I am not the only one to think like this. It motivates me.
My goal is to stop PMO forever. I have a girlfriend, she is beautiful, why should I need this?
Last time I PMO was Monday the 02.02, so today (Thurday) is day 3. I am alone at home the whole day for 2 weeks (I have exams, I need to study), therefore it will be hard not to relapse. However, I feel like I can do it. If I didn't land on the site yesterday, I would probably have PMO. However, at first I thought "one last time before you stop forever" and then "f*ck it, why not start now, don't be weak!". Right after this, I deleted my porn folder, and today I emptied the wastebasket. This is a new life.

 

Thanks Lucubrare, welcome and good luck to you too!
Deleting the porn was weird, took me sometime to empty the wastebasket because I was feeling that I should keep it for later... Same feeling that when you throw old toys away.
Beeing home alone is kind of a trigger, because I have the liberty to PMO anytime I want. However I always study at home, its quiet and peaceful, got my coffee maker and all the space I need. Since my exams are the no1 priority right now, I'll take my chance and stay at home. I am confident and motivated.

 

Thanks a lot and good luck to you too! Personaly, I try to avoid ANY triggering. When I find myself browsing some pictures of a cute girl in bikini on facebook or instagram, I just try to stop, because that's how I start thinking about MOing.

 

Exactly what usually happened... I ended up napping after the PMO, but surely not learning properly.
However the library is no good either, even during the winter there are lots of cute girls wearing skirts or tight pants... Cannot concentrate either, and when I get home, I just feel like I need to get all the sexual tension out, and my girlfriend lives and works in another city 2 hours from here, so I only see her on weekends... I think I would wank less by going to the library or any public place, but nevertheless the problem is the same when I get home alone after having seen cute girls the whole day. Anyway today is day 4, still keeping the streak. I'll continue on my journal.

 

Best of luck to you too! Funny how we all repeated the same schemes (work->triggered->unable to focus->PMO->doing nothing). I wrote "repeated" because now that we are on this forum, we can do something about it and become better men (and women, if there are some).

FYI, my journal is under http://www.nofap.com/forum/showthread.php?30514-Mouss5ss-s-journal if someone wants to have a look, give advice or comment on my adventure on the NoFap ship, which started 4 days ago.
I think this is good to keep a journal, I can remember why I am doing this and keep cold headed.