One month in

Well I'm one month into no PMO and over 2 weeks without O (hard mode). Here's my thoughts so far.

My mood is SO much better. I have had issues with depression and anxiety on and off and got really bad over the last few months, this was one the main things that led me to seek out nofap. I feel a lot more positive and depression and anxiety are down a lot. Still there a bit but manageable. I feel more confident and happy and life is just generally better. At the same time as doing nofap I have been working to get my relationship with God (I'm a Christian) back on track and I think this has really helped too. There seems a lot of guys on here who have a faith but struggle with PMO and while I've been thinking about this over the last while I came to wonder if we try to replace the correct response to God calling to us with PMO. What I mean is, we at a deep level feel that longing for something more but rather than turning to God on a daily and ongoing basis to satisfy we turn to PMO since it's a quicker and easier hit. I don't know and I don't really want to preach to people but I've seen folks on here and other places talk about how much getting to a better place with God has helped them with these issues. I've also read about folks who started no PMO without any thought of God but found the beauty of him and life with him became clear the them when they got a handle on this issue. As I said I don't want to preach, I just know for so long I've struggled and if this helps anyone get more of a handle on things then that's great.

My relationship with my wife is much better. I'm doing hard mode at the moment so we're not doing much but we've not been in a great place so that's not been too difficult! Anyway, last night we had a bit of time together and it was nice just to be a bit intimate but not go all the way to O or in fact anywhere near it. After I felt so close to her and basically was such a bug to her, kept telling how much I love her and wanting to snuggle with her. It felt like when we first started dating. I didn't realise how much PMO has robbed me of a decent relationship with my wife.

Brain fog is much better. Really struggled with this but it's now pretty much gone and feeling able to think clearer.

Coping with urges better. After last night with the wife she was out this morning and I was off with and empty house. Normally I would have been straight on the net and knocking one out for a while in this situation and there were urges to do that, probably the strongest urges I've had in the past month, but I don't want that crap and I was able to push it away. I don't think the urges will ever fully go away but I'm happy to fight them I need to and remember the destruction it brings when I give in. I don't want that life anymore, I prefer my life the way it is now.

I've said I'm aiming for 90 days no PMO and 90 days no O (hard mode). In reality I'm actually looking to never PM again and I'm less fussed about going 90 days hard mode. If things with the wife got good in the next few weeks I'd be happy to go with that but I'm just wary of an O setting me back. I found that right at the start but I think things might be a bit more reset now.

That bring me on finally to the start. The first 1 - 2 weeks were VERY hard for me. Not so much urges, just feeling really unwell. Like I had mild flu. I think it was withdrawals and so if you're going through that stick with it and you'll get there.

Be strong men! You are better than this!

 

Thanks mate. Wife just gave me a big hug and said we need spend more time with me as she misses me. A month ago she hardly wanted to talk to me at points. Why have I not been doing this for years?

 

Still going well. Getting a handle on my urges and it's easier to tell them where to go as I don't want to stop getting on as well in life as I am. Wife suggested we have a bottle of wine and watch a movie tonight. Again, not something she's have suggested a few weeks back. Seriously guys, get a handle on this, start to feel better about yourself and life and then give your wife some space and I reckon a lot of you will see the improvements I've seen.

 

Been feeling a bit rough again the last few days, anxious, not sleeping too great and some more brain fog. Just wondering if this might be related to having a bit of intimacy with my wife last week? I didn't O but I just wonder if was a bit like edging? It could just be my anxiety and depression that I have to try and keep a handle on. It's just strange 'cause I felt great for 2 weeks. I worry that if it is that then I might never be able to be like that with my wife again.

Thoughts?

 

Thanks mate that's encouraging. Interesting to hear about the 40 - 50 day thing. Just trying to push into God tonight and really rest in his love.

Totally agree with you regarding connecting with wife.

 

PS Love the C S Lewis quote. His apologetics books have been a big influence on me over the years. Mere Christianity was literally life changing

 

Fair points. Good to get another view point on it.

 

Thanks my friend. That's an encouragement and helpful at the moment as I'm still not feeling great.