Hello readers! I missed writing up on day 3&4 but i'm updating my journey into day 5. So far this streak is going pretty well! I feel better, more open and i'm coming to terms with wthdrawal. The main thing i'm focussing on now is to remember to breathe. My awareness of daily activities is subdued due to the fact that I'm withdrawing into myself. I know for a fact it's because i'm scared of the withdrawals, but yesterday I said F*CK IT! lets try and bring this to the surface. I'm stopping myself from experiencing withdrawals by avoiding breathing and trying to find another way of removing this pain. - like foccusing on building up days and it'll all be fine one day. What i felt was very strange and quite scary, I felt pins and needles all over by body. My face my neck, and i could feel the region of my face where the beard grows being activated. It was good you know, but I'm finding it quite hard to face it and induce. I could feel a downward pushing force on my head... I need to induce these feelings instead of running away from them. I've become 'comfortable' with not releasing my withdrawals which is not an ideal place to be when I want to overcome it. This is stopping my from progressing on this journey, as past attempts didnt give me what I expected. I'm reminding myself to feel the breathing and keep it in check, but its goddamn hard because it feels like I don't want to experience this. I initially stopped myself from fapping by trying to absorb the urges, which required de-personalisation. I;m confident i wont relapse without my own consent, but I've had to break myself in order for that to be so. I hope you all the best for your journeys and would love to hear if any of you guys are experiencing the same feelings as me! thanks for reading!
You have to believe you will get over the withdrawal. A short term sacrifice for a long term benefit. I try to face the feelings (in my head) when I am in a public space where I am surrounded by people.
I've read of a method called surfing the urge. Essentially, any thought, emotion, or urge that comes upon you is energy. The idea is that you surf the urge. First, it is important, like you were saying to understand that you are not the urge. You are the one who is experiencing the urge. You don't have to do it, just because you feel it. Instead of carrying out the actions to fulfill the urge, like your body is demanding, choose instead to ride. Decide then and there, I am not going to give into this urge. What I will do is ride it the whole time. I will be attentive to how it makes me feel, the bodily sensations it causes, the thoughts I have. Like any other thought, it to will pass, much like a wave. It will build and be constant. At some point it may have a well of energy, at others it may be lower. It will however have to meet the shore. There it will crash. Ride the wave, follow it, experience it. It will pass. Think of it like a game. Feel it all. The more you do this by the way, the better you'll become at it. Pretty soon, an urge, will be just something your aware of. It will have less power to 'make' you fap or whatever.
Fantastic post and advice for everyone here. I really like this approach and method. Going to use it now!
