Hi Guys, I recently turned 29 and I have a porn addiction problem ... I said it. It's been many years since I've watched my first porn it was on VHS tape that I found in some of my parents drawer, I think I was in elementary that time I didn't know what was going on the screen I watched it couple times and put back the tape, I had that kind of weird conversation with parents couple days later I wish I did listen to them that time ... but I didn't. I think back then it was more curiosity than addiction, but when internet showed up it became the problem I had ups and downs during that years and it escalated when I moved out and rented a room since I'm living by my own I know no one is watching and I can do it without any fears and my dark demon stays here behind closed door. There are weeks I'm diving into porn world and I feel embarrassed after all, oh I hate that feeling, couple days ago I decided to get rid of porn collected for last couple months, I hit delete button couple terabytes of porn ended up in trash fortunately. But I know there will be a time I'll be back to it, it was always like that I created collection get rid of it and couple months later I felt that urge and starting again from page 1 and I don't want to let it happen again, that's why I'm sharing my story with you. I've never had serious relationship just because of it. I'm too embarrassed to share it with anyone that I know personally. I think I have depression. It usually going back to me when I have "slower" day and I'm bored then the first idea that shows up to my head is "hey, let's watch some porn" I had one of this days today and I'm forcing myself to not follow that idea and don't let my demon out, I know it will start badly like usually and I'll wake up couple weeks later with couple hundreds of new porn videos. It also comes back when I'm stressed which happens pretty often and when you can't talk with anyone about it then you know how it ends. So that's part of my story I have a lot of more to say but that post would be too long to read It's long anyway sorry for that and thanks for hearing. I was wondering if you ever considered something like sponsorship (or maybe you have it already) similar to other addictions programs, I have small experience with leaving addictions but if someone will like to talk I'm open and I'm willing to help. Thanks a lot again and I guess see you on other threads.
