Fathers Day anger and porn

Parents can be pretty stupid and ignorant. My mother annoys me af. She have these habits like keeping things for decades even when there is no use for it. Is a tidy freak, constant nagger and criticizer with no regards to the other persons mental state and well-being whatsoever. She is also extremely ignorant and forgetful.

For example, yesterday I mentioned to her that I didn't want to eat noodles cause I wanted to finish my salad but since she already made it for me I had no choice. The very next day, she ask me again do I want to eat noodles. That got me annoyed so I answered in an agitated tone. Then she's like I just asked you nicely? Is that suppose to be a sin? Why give me that tone? I attempt to explain to her if you keep asking me the same questions day in and day out due to your ignorance that will annoy anyone on this planet. It's like she thinks I am just an unreasonable person who gets angry for nothing. She doesn't understand it's her ignorant attitude and annoying habits that's making me react the way I do towards her. When I try to explain the reason I gave her that tone she immediately shuts off and enters rage mode. (That's chinese parents born in ancient times for you.) It's worse than trying to reason with a donkey.

Now that may not seem like a lot to be angry about but when she keeps repeating the same annoying stuff again and again forever. The worse part of it all is she completely lacks the ability to see her own flaws so there is no limit to how much she can annoy you in one day. Combine that with her forgetfulness, douchebaggery and ignorance is the ultimate form of mental torture.

 

May be. May be not. You Mr. McMarty might be a product of your parents actions but you don’t need to be in their control. The anger and hatred is because of lack of control. It could be the wrestling of control that you are trying to get from this. It could also be an excuse for letting you do whatever you want and rationalization for your behavior. Whatever the reason is, does it matter ? As humans, don’t we all want freedom? Don’t we want to act by our own accord? Who is your dad to control your actions? May be you let him control you and affect your future in ways you desire but fight back and get it back. Or at least strive for it. Why else is life worth living if we can’t fight for our own freedom? You can do it! Keep striving and keep pushing .., keep failing until one day you look back and realize hmm you haven’t thought about your dad and anger for quite a while now,

 

Yes, parents born in non-modern times are like this.They always have to be right there is absolutely no getting thru their thick skull. (It is not even necessarily have to do with their condition.) Even my very egotistic and toxic sister when I had an argument with her the next day she admits she may have overreacted. But parents born in old generation will never learn or admit their flaws. (They're like cavemen.) The only way is to ignore them when they start getting verbal cause there is no chance you will ever win the argument.

 

Here’s my situation. Maybe might be helpful???

For me I hated my mother.

To keep it brief, she had a hard childhood and had lots of issues. My childhood with her wasn’t good. My dad’s intervention kept me and my siblings from lots of physical abuse from her. She was a very angry person and took it out on everyone.

I hated her into adulthood.

But she was changing and now she’s a sweet hearted person at age 72. Took years for this change but it did happen.

It wasn’t until 2003 that I started speaking with her more than very casual small talk. I was 37 in 2003. It wasn’t until my 40’s that I had deeper conversations with her. Now in my 50s we talk freely with each other and I can honestly say I will miss her when she’s gone. Years ago I would have said opposite.

Anyhow, despite all that I was still holding onto grudges just a bit. It wasn’t until professional counseling that I let the past go and fully forgave her. It was a very traumatic counseling session where the “switch finally turned off” and I let go of the past in regards to her. It’s allowed me to have an even better relationship with her.

I know you all are still dealing with negative behaviors from parents and your situations are different right now.

I share my situation to say:

-Things can change.
-Try to be understanding about what your parents may have gone through. My mom had a horrific childhood. I’ve learned a lot about it from my dad.
-Try to be patient and don’t blow up. Blowing up only makes the relationship worse. I’ve learned this the hard way.
-If you have to (and if it’s possible) put distance between the two of you for extended periods.
-If you can afford it, seek professional counseling.

Those are just suggestions of course. But I do think this one last thing is truth.

-Don’t become bitter.

And I say it as someone that was bitter about my mother for decades. It just ate at me and didn’t do anything beneficial for anyone.