Childhood impact on adult life

The most impactful I am not sure, but yes, I think so, having a troubled/sad/hard/rejected early childhood will likely affect the rest of your childhood/teenage years

 

Im not sure what age is most importantly as a child but i definitely agree that having some sort of trauma at a young age has and impact on later life if ignored. Its taken me years to realize that I had been using porn to soothe the pain of losing my mum at 11 years old.

 

Worrying about questions like this only causes suffering, nothing good comes out of it, as I see it.

You can't change the past. But you can change the future, in each moment, starting now.

 

Yes, childhood impacts adult life. Along with this it also impacts a relationship, mental health. If the childhood environment is stable and full of positive exposure with good parenting can highly impact on one's life. And the vice versa dangerous environment and negative with bad parenting can adversely impact on one's life.

 

I have a twin brother. We have the exact same upbringing.

I own a beautiful home, have a wonderful family and have money in the bank.

He is a homeless drug addict.

Neither of us had a good upbringing. I’ve never been hugged as a child, was never told “I love you” by my family. Mother was an alcoholic who left us and dad worked 7 days a week 10-12 hours a day. We raised ourselves. I got into drugs as well, but got clean.
I could have easily gone down the same route as my twin. So yes, I believe our upbringing is why we both got into drugs but as adults we have the power to change.

 

3 of my siblings were heroine addicts, two died. We helped, and helped, and helped, and helped, and ... you know by now what I am about to say.
It is heartbreaking to lose loved ones to drugs, death. My mother was an alcoholic. It was heartbreaking to see her drunk. Not understanding why. Not understand anything.
Gabor Mate says not to ask why the addiction but to ask why the pain. I ask myself why am I still alive while my brothers are dead.
No one can be helped as long as they do not, cannot take the help. I cannot want the other to can. Grammatically not correct but you get the idea. It is heartbreaking enough to see loved ones suffer while suffering oneself. It‘s not always about them. Sometimes it is about us. And that is ok.

 

Yep. According to my very own book of life experience „50 ways of fading“ I‘d say JP got sth right there

 

Thanks a lot. What a pity I didn't know you before. You could have rescued my siblings. Now it's too late. They are dead.

 

You know, addiction is sth I grew up with, my mother was addicted to alcohol. Ever since I knew her she was drinking except for the last 4 years of her life. After my father died when I was still a boy she went into rehab, came out, eventually relapsed then developed some cancer and slowly died only a few years later.
Any addiction is Mount Everest. Some just don‘t have the breath or the stamina to climb up that mountain and get back healed.
What it taught me is never to condemn any addict nor to come to conclusions too easily. Each story is so complex, lots of details we never get to know.
From Gabor Mate (you find him on Youtube, he‘s a master) I learned: First question is never Why the addiction but Why the pain. Pain is at the root of all addiction.
The addiction is the acting out. We need to get to the roots. Heal the wounds that caused the addiction.
Thank you for your thoughts, we‘re here to talk. That‘s why it‘s good you didn‘t just mind your own business and scroll on.

 

The human species is overrated. So is family. All a construct. Labels. What counts are relationships. The one to yourself then the ones with other beings, thoughts, things, life.
Parents are never perfect cause they were children too once, of parents who weren't perfect cause they to were children too once. Pain is part of being human, suffering is optional. I am doing fine. And so do you I read. I left the drama.
Beauty is in the observer's eye. All is either bad or good. It is as it is. It makes sense it is the way it is, cause we humans are the cause for the effect. Love is all we need. God am I kitschy ... lol ... but I mean it. You too stay strong. You're worth it.

 

Exactly. The aim is to free myself from all condition, all socialization, all constructs and then to newly relate to life according to my own choices. Of course addiction was not my choice, there I am chosen, that's why I am here and working on it.