hello, considering you want to listen, here it goes: Ever since the first time i fapped, i felt over every month, my happiness crumbling, i felt like i coud never find bliss again, and all i did was watch porn and masturbate. My sister thinks i'm a weirdo/creep and i have to deal with immense stress over words, why? PMO caused me to become more stress and not feel any happiness for my reward, i'm not stating that i couldn't feel any happiness when i started but rather the amount of happiness i felt started declining ever since i started. I have friends but i barely talk to them and i feel extremely bored and horny, i messaged this one girl from south africa but now i want to nuke south africa after the horiffic trauma i felt from that, but you know i want to do regain my happiness. Since i'm mentally handicapped along with PMO has caused me to become extra sensitive to shouting and insults, but yesterday, i that shouting only fueled 2 things (self harm and to keep going with NoFap). I'am going mad whenever i feel horny but if nofap can regain my happiness then NoFap can regain my happiness then fuck it i'll keep going because i just want my happiness. No matter how many cheese toasted sandwiches or shows it takes to regain my happiness and free me from my emotionless pain, i will get my happiness back. Also yes i'm aware that the counter says "1 day" (as of this post), just add 7 days to the amount of days it says on the counter because the counter was started TOO late.
Idk if you are lonely but hey i'm V E R Y lonely so i'm just going to post random stuff. So i'm back from a walk in the park. So far i want to calm down, but i can't calm down, because fapping has only made me extremely stressed, i can't do it, i can't control my anger. I had this issue but it became worse once i started PMO. My anger has only gave me unforgettable stress and usually when something small happens, i get anxiety. The anxiety would usually occur if something happens, (for example, "Did I close the door when I went outside."), I would get extremely worried about this and therefore I would actually run back to my house 3 times when I'am meant to be going somewhere despite remembering closing the door. This didn't start until PMO became daily, I also started self-harming over menial things like if i thought something bad was going to happen OR if something menial happened, all because I was shaming my family. This all started after starting PMO and I hate it. I actually had an event 2 or 3 weeks back, before the day I wanted to fap but I wanted to enjoy the event. I actually enjoyed the event the next day. I was listening to Linkin Park (I know it's a bit corny), but I felt really happy, especially when I was with my friends going home after, it was great, but then when I came from, a few minutes later, and I fet really unhappy again. It basically ruined the day for me, not most of it, but it did ruin the positivity i had from the event. I later fapped 2 days later, what an idiot, then my holiday started, I felt really good, but since I'm in the house, (and I don't go outside much.) I became very angered and because of PMO i had to go through self-harm to calm myself. I can't wait until I gain my happiness back from Nofap
Life is worth it, it just that you need to do something with it, and it will feel good with nofap, just be patent and hope for the best
It took me 4 months to come back....and no suprise, i m more disappointed in myself. I wush to let go of porn. NOw, i m watching porn literally everyday. With a lottle courage from a few days streak, i m finally back. The problem is with me. I m not socializing. People are ready to befriends bit i m not. I need to fucking talk to them everyday, try to flirt with them....but i m being so stupid. I m good than others but i m degrading myself. Many of those around me knew about my masturbation habits and now stayed away fromme....including my sister. With 22 years old who started masturbate atage of 10, i m getting so FUCKED UP.I wish i could change my life.
I wanted to ask if any of you feeled as same as me. 1. No happiness 2. Shy to ask a girl for date. 3. Cannot meditate and exercise 4. Cannot keep up a schedule 5. Cannot focus on reading (when i study, i wiuld be playing with my dick sometimes. Lucky no one sees it)