Am I just not made for monogamy?

Hey Guys!

So i am now on probably day 65 (I do not really remember the day I stopped fapping) of hard mode. I did notice many benefits, basically nearly all of the superpowers.

The longer I am doing NoFap, the more I am convinced that I am just not made for monogamy. I have always led a promiscuous lifestyle (including one night stands, paid sex, internet porn). I did notice the con's, which is why I started the NoFap challenge. I am convinced that internetporn and excessive masturbation is bad, but I miss having meaningless sex with random girls. The longer I am doing NoFap, the more I want to have sex with anything that moves.

Most guys on NoFap say that they want to feel intimacy, love, a "real" connection and stuff like that. I just don't want that. I like being alone, I can not imagine having a person in my life that I am dependent on regarding how I spent my time (I have a lot of hobbies).

Also, I stopped drinking booze 3 months ago. Honestly, it's fucking boring. I did meet with friends and went partying sober, but drunk people are so annoying, it's hard to laugh at their jokes. But also it's hard for them to laugh at my jokes since the booze makes them to "dumb" to get my jokes and stuff. I am not judging them, I am exactly alike. And I enjoy being drunk, I love it. Also, I love hooking up with random girls, I see absolutely no problem with it.

I had one serious relationship with a girl once, but I missed hanging out with buddies all the time. I missed just being alone at home and cooking, reading, watching documentaries, going for a walk or doing sports whenever I want to. I don't like sharing a too big amount of time with other people. I can easily go for days alone without a feeling of loneliness.

I would just like to have sex regularly (daily if possible haha) without the struggles of a relationship because for me, the con's of a relationship are WAY bigger than the pro's.

I was always like that. I thought maybe NoFap would change my attitude towards women and relationship, but so far it hasn't changed. I would rather marry my best buddy (without doing the sex haha) than spend the rest of my life with a women.

Is there anyone else here who thinks the same? Or anyone, who thought the same but NoFap has changed their attitude?

I always felt bad for the way I felt about women. I am not disliking women, nor am I against emancipation, I just think I am not made for a life with women constantly being around in my home (I guess it's okay to see each other once a day for sex) and then spent 2-3 days a week doing "normal" stuff. Also, I HATE sharing my bed. I love my big king size bed, I want to have it all for me. Another person in there breathing? Fuck No!

Is it just society that makes us "want" to marry and have a house and spent every. single. day. together (even holdiays? I love travelling on my own! I can not imagine travelling with someone else, not even with a buddy of mine -interests never overlap 100%).???

I felt guilt for what I just wrote nearly all my life, but the longer I do NoFap, the less guilt I feel and the more I am happy with the fact that I am just not made for monogamy and marriage and children and all that stuff.

Sorry, thsi is not really a question or anything, just needed to write it down.

Good luck and strength everyone doing NoFap!

EDIT: I did not post this in "Loneliness" because I feel lonely. I just posted it here because I did not know whereelse to post.

 

Thanks!

It's just that whenever I tried to tell someone they made me feel guilty since it seems to be "natural" to want to have a relationship.

But I guess NoFap helped me get rid of this guilt. That's probably the reason I feel a little confused the longer I do NoFap.

Who knows, maybe someday a person walks into my life which I want to spent every single minute with.

 

What is sex (for you) then?

Not judging or trying to start a fight, just curious and willing to learn.

 

I think I'm the same. I never wanted kids, a family or a serious relationship.
I also judged myself for not wanting things all other people seem to want so badly.
Is PMO the reason for that? I don't know.

I'm on hardmode right now, so far nothing has changed but I plan to extend it to 180 days and see how it goes.

Either my attitude changes or I'll have to accept it. Time will tell.

 

I will definitely extend noPMO as well, probably forever, except when I have real sex with women.

The longer I do Nofap, the more I know that wife, children, family and all that stuff just is not what I want from life.

So at least we got that going for us, right?

 

Guess I'll just need a little more time to grow up then.

I am 24.