From Russia with NoFap

Hello there. I am 29 years old, live in Moscow, Russia and I want to quit masturbating and porn. English is my second language so please don't be too harsh on me if I'm not eloquent enough. Though if anybody ever wants to correct some of my mistakes or give me some advice about words usage I will really appreciate it.

I have an ED which is caused by prostate problems. I guess one of the reasons I got these problems is excessive masturbation and because of that I can't be 100% sure my ED will be gone after I cure prostate issues. As it happens porn caused me having some weird fetishes which are also not helpful.

I'm here because masturbation became a form of escapism for me. I feel like I'm not even close in reaching my potential everywhere: in my career, personal life, relationship and so on, but instead of working hard on these issues I used to watch porn and masturbate to feel better. As most of you probably know that doesn't help and only makes things worse. I don't drink alcohol (please don't tell me that means I'm not Russian, that joke is getting old ) but I see the similarities between alcoholism and porn addiction, both are the ways to avoid reality and not to address your problems.

I've decided to have a 90-days NoFap experiment to see how it gonna affect my life. Today is my day 2, so there is a long way to go. I feel like I should use this forum because I'm afraid. I'm afraid I will never recover, I'm afraid that all this is pointless and won't help me. This fear, these thoughts occupy my head and it takes a lot of energy to suppress them. Sharing them here probably can help me to let go, to make pressure less intense. I've never discussed this problem with anybody. Neither my parents nor my friends know and it will be great to speak about it here, even if nobody even gonna read them.

So I've deleted all my porn site accounts and now I'm here. Nice to meet you fapstronauts!

 

I'm not sure what is the best way to use this forum but right now I'm inclined to use it as my diary. Just writing down my thoughts to clear my mind at the end of the day. Sometimes it will be some observations, sometimes I will write down some information which might be useful for me or (at least I hope so) for somebody else, sometimes just a stream of consciousness.
Tonight I feel the boost of confidence, literally for no reason. I don't know why but I'm very optimistic right now. Like I feel I quit for good even though I tried before and wasn't successful. I've never passed 7 days of NoFap before but right now I feel very determined. I had the same feeling when I quit drinking energy drinks. It was close to addiction, I had at least one can of Burn or Adrenalin Rush every day. Sometimes it was the first thing I did in the morning. I always knew it was terrible for my health and at some point I just stopped. And it's not like it is forbidden for me, it's not like I will never ever drink some Red Bull in my life, I can leave my apartment right now and buy one, I just don't want to. Even when I could grab a can for free in some marketing events I didn't because I didn't want to. That was my choice. I want to achieve the same way of thinking about porn and masturbation. I want NoFap to be a choice, not a burden. I think this mindset is one of the most crucial points. Well, the most important part for sure is making my life good enough to destroy the reasons I'm looking for an escape, to work on problems I'm running away from, but this mindset is the second one, I guess. Masturbation is not a reward or prize and I'm not suffering because of its absence. It's not something I need.
Let's stay strong, guys and girls.