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New to NoFap. Having difficulty staying away from porn substitutes

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Ruscher, Oct 2, 2019.

  1. Ruscher

    Ruscher New Fapstronaut

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    I'm new to this site but I've been addicted to porn and masturbation since around 11 or 12. My mom bought me a laptop for Christmas when I was 13 and it was downhill from there. I am now 31 and find myself in my first relationship with a girl. We have been dating for 3 months. She is so much fun to be around and we have so much in common. When we first started dating I had issues with porn induced ED and I told her about my trouble with porn and how I might need to abstain for a while in order to get an erection with her. She was completely understanding which is utterly amazing. Eventually I was able to perform but I think I was expecting her to replace my porn habit. I was expecting sex from her constantly and getting aggravated when a few days went by. I went back to porn and she found out. She argued that she feels like I treat her as an object and I do think I was doing that. I am now seeing a local sex therapist and she encouraged me to join an online community. I have been without hardcore porn for 2 weeks now but I find myself continuing to masturbate to anything remotely sexual. Instagram, Twitter, YouTube. I tell myself it's no big deal because it's not hardcore porn but I think I am just substituting. I want to cure myself of this compulsion. Any advice or stories are welcome. Also how do you go about having healthy sex while trying to recover? Is total abstinence necessary for a few months? Thanks
     
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  2. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use theNoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | ForumRules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
  3. Welcome to NoFap @Ruscher
    You can do the reboot in soft mode ( havngvsex with your girlfriend ) or hard mode ( no sex at all)
    I always found that having sex with real people is the goal of the reboot, so Indid it soft mode. Just be careful not to be “cheating”, thinking on P while having real sex
    It
    is a big step if you can understand what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear.

    I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up.
    I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down:

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...y-first-320-days-of-reboot.62938/#post-473978

    I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

    http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318
    You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:
    http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2

    I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.
    To get more focus and feel happier with life I recommend you to start doing meditation.. I have been using an App called Headspace for the last two months which is great if you have never meditated before. The first 10 sessions are free if you want to give a try. I used to feel a bit depressed or feeling without energy to start new projects in my life, and meditation has helped me a lot with this.

    Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take new e-course that Mark Queppet launched in his new website, called: " REFORGED MAN: Quit porn and Master Yourself-Be a Man you Admire", it is the updated version of the e-course he used to have in NoFap Academy. It is not cheap ($200) but it is totally worth it because he gives great toold to fight PMO.You can find it here:
    https://courses.universalman.com/courses/reforged-man
    You can also join his website called Patreon, where he posts great stuff for free every week, and also you can join the pay area to be part of his weekly video calls where you can chat with them in real life, get coaching and listen to other guys's stories and problems too. You can find it here:
    https://www.patreon.com/home

    I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.
    Let's keep on fighting

    Fercho
     

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