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Hitted rock bottom - starting again

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Lost_control5898, Nov 19, 2019.

  1. Nov 19, 2019 #1
    Lost_control5898

    Lost_control5898 Fapstronaut

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    Today I lost control over myself again...
    Today I failed again, watching porn for few hours and reaching orgasm countless times. I feel like shit again. I just can't let my addiction progress like that anymore. I mean, I started watching porn and masturbating when I was 11. I started with softcore porn but I quickly progressed to some destructive and humiliating genres - mostly foot fetish and femdom and also other too disgusting things to talk about. Now, I developed severe PIED (just at 17 years old!). I cannot get erection to normal porn anymore. For few years I had been watching only those fucked up genres of porn. Now I realised that this humiliating genres led to my low confidence level and my overall lack of will to do anything besides watching this shit and masturbating.
    I tried quitting it few times by my own but I failed always after few weeks. I decided to be active here in order to always remember why I want to quit this for good. I hope that someday I will lost desire to this fucked up fetishes. I want to be normal again.
     
    Lost_control5898, Nov 19, 2019
    Lost_control5898, Nov 19, 2019
    #1
    TheLightOne and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Nov 19, 2019 #2
    w95chris

    w95chris Fapstronaut

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    I have been there and so has everyone in the forum. It is easy saying that you'll quit right after you relapsed but the struggle will show up down the road. I'm telling you this in a kind way and in an informative way.
    Figure out what made you relapse and eliminate it. For example I always start off with searching for P and then an image turns to a video, a video to a second one and so on until the relapse happens. Of course afterwards I feel bad about it but I'm hoping that this will be my last time with my addiction and so should you.
    Try your best to become a normal teenager again and enjoy life. You have your whole life ahead of you try to enjoy it and stay away from PMO
     
    w95chris, Nov 19, 2019
    w95chris, Nov 19, 2019
    #2
    Lost_control5898 likes this.
  3. Nov 19, 2019 #3
    Lost_control5898

    Lost_control5898 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for reply. What makes me relapse is my imagination. When urge comes, my mind recreates remembered scenes from porn and this is leading to watching porn again and again. I tried to control my fantasies but I can't. I must learn to ignore them somehow.
     
    Lost_control5898, Nov 19, 2019
    Lost_control5898, Nov 19, 2019
    #3
  4. Nov 19, 2019 #4
    fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    There's a thread in my profile for help with femdom addiction.
     
    fedmom, Nov 19, 2019
    fedmom, Nov 19, 2019
    #4
  5. Nov 19, 2019 #5
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
    Deleted Account, Nov 19, 2019
    Deleted Account, Nov 19, 2019
    #5
    Lost_control5898 likes this.
  6. Nov 20, 2019 #6
    w95chris

    w95chris Fapstronaut

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    Don't try to control your thoughts. It is natural to have porn thoughts. Your brain is addicted and remembers these things. Let them appear. It is like opening a door for your bad memories to leave. But as they leave you are forced to remember them one last time. The same goes with porn. The key is not to feed these thoughts by watching porn
    When an urge comes let it be, just keep doing what you were doing and it will go away eventually. Even if it does not then try some push ups and tire yourself for it to go away

    Trust me it all seems hard at first but in the end it is all worth it. I tasted the success for a while before relapsing once more (and again and again and again) and I loved it. As time passes you will not only feel better but also act better. Learn from the mistakes we made at your age and become a better person getting rid of this addiction
     
    w95chris, Nov 20, 2019
    w95chris, Nov 20, 2019
    #6
    Lost_control5898 and teece like this.
  7. Nov 20, 2019 #7
    Lost_control5898

    Lost_control5898 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your advice.
     
    Lost_control5898, Nov 20, 2019
    Lost_control5898, Nov 20, 2019
    #7
  8. Nov 22, 2019 #8
    Lost_control5898

    Lost_control5898 Fapstronaut

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    3 days completed - It was rather easy, almost no temptations to PMO or porn fantasies, just some short flashbacks of recently watched porn. Maybe it's flatline from start.
     
    Lost_control5898, Nov 22, 2019
    Lost_control5898, Nov 22, 2019
    #8
  9. Nov 26, 2019 #9
    Lost_control5898

    Lost_control5898 Fapstronaut

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    7 days. Still at flatline, no urges to fap or watch porn. I wonder how long it will last...
     
    Lost_control5898, Nov 26, 2019
    Lost_control5898, Nov 26, 2019
    #9

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