Hard or soft mode?

Hey everyone. I’m currently in a 3 month relationship with a girl I’ve known for many years.

I have had a few streaks, since the start, the longest being 15 ish days that end up in a binge relapse. The relapses don’t come when I am craving porn which I don’t, but rather from sexual urges. I don’t want to watch porn or look at pictures. Most of the time porn doesn’t even get me too aroused unless my hand is holding on to it. If I watched porn without touching I would probably only get a semi.

2 of my relapses came after big arguments, which made me fap to relieve depression.

On the first streak she took my virginity and we had good sex. I was using a gas station pill and was able to maintain a 80% erection through the night, although I did not feel anything from PIV.

We attempted sex again a few days later and I used a different pill and I was able to cum from her being on top, but for the positions she enjoyed I wasn’t able to stay hard out so well. We’ve tried on and off to do it after that but it hasn’t worked as good.

I have not taken anything for the other attempts however and the rest have been in a rather uncomfortable car setting for me.

Before my last relapse I was able to stay hard and feel massive pleasure from a blowjob which was not so common before.

It’s absolutely driving me crazy. We are supposed to be moving in together very soon which I believe will help as when I wake up with morning wood & urges I don’t want to watch porn but rather wish she was with me to take care of the “problem”.

I would like to do a full hardmode reboot but I don’t want to sacrifice sex in such an early relationship.

From the description of my symptoms, do you guys think hard mode is necessary?

TL;DR
After a decent streak (10+ days) I can:

Can stay hard with the right pill
Start getting rock solid morning wood again
Feel her vagina again
Feel pleasure from her
Can stay hard with no assistance for blowjobs
Have no desire to watch porn or masturbate, just want to be with her
Most relapses come from general sexual urges and arguing

Does it sound like hardmode is necessary to restore a fully functioning sex life with no pills or supplements?

Please let me know. Just stressing out really badly. Thanks guys, good luck.