A week ago I had a fight with my girlfriend, we broke up, it's done for good. The problem, we used to have sex every time we had the chance, sex was a very strong bond between us. Now I feel the need for pleasure, added that my friends took me to a brothel last Friday, I haven't had a prostitute in years and I'm not interested, not yet, so I just had some beers with them and nothing else happened that night. But today it is very hard to feel distracted, every thought I have is about sex, with a prostitute, with a friend, with an unknown woman, so I started masturbating, stopped right before finishing, that's what you call edging, once, twice this day. I avoided watching porn, it was hard but I didn't click the incognito mode on this browser because I knew it was a point of no return. It is going to be a very hard transition, I need sex but I don't want to call for a prostitute, I don't want to use a friend just for pleasure and I don't want to return to a relationship that caused me emotional issues. To be distracted, it is easy on daylight while I'm working, at night a very different scenario, I feel like I'm going to fall for it any day, edging, masturbating, PMO. Any advice will be helpful. P.S. I updated my badge after posting, it's set to 0 now.
I see. It is a very difficult situation. Sex and intimacy is a natural desire. We're wired like that. You had a reset, but all will be ok. But you need to take care for yourself now and not let yourself go and act out! You made it 398 Days without porn and masturbation man! WOW. Now make sure you know what you really want. You crave for sexual pleasure but you know there are better ways to meet your needs than acting out. But yes, this looks like a difficult phase of transition. And it could take some time. Sounds like you need healing, man. Maybe some fun as well, but not that kind of fun where you smash down what you built up and in the end smash yourself. Don't you think you can go without sex for some time? Wish you best of luck! And good decisions.
@icebreaker polarstern thank you for your kind words. Without sex for some time? I don't know, really, I'll do my best to avoid PMO, but sex, I'll have an opportunity next weekend going out with friends. I hope I'll make the best decision.
Just don't use a prostitute. You should not cross that line! It can drag you down emotionally, it can fuel your porn-addiction, it can make you look for more paid sex in the future. Two or three weeks without sex is not really that hard. Who knows what will happen later on. Good luck with your opportunity!
I actually consider a succesfull sex with prostitute as a succes of my PM. Currently even unable to do it due to PIED. BUT I have a family and prostititute is more acceptable then both PM or lover to me to freshen my sex life. if ur single, prostitues must be a NO GO, because it doesnt tech you to get GF.
You mean PM = porn-masturbation (recovery), right? How can you recover from porn addiction when you use prostitutes? Porn will be your inspiration when you go there. Your porn addiction will decide who you choose and for what service. It will be fueled afterwards. How can you even say where porn stops and where prostitution begins? It's just one blend, if you ask me. In the best case scenario it will be a unique experience and you'll have great sex. And then? The best case scenario might be turn out as the worst case scenario in the aftermath, if you get addicted to paid sex. Therefore you shouldn't go to prositutes (in my logic). What if you catch a sexual disease? I don't know what to say. Yes, a lover might be even worse for your relationship with your wife. Does your wife see it that way, too? So you can, but he not?! But it takes you to get a better sex life? SeekingPower, this is only my opinion. And obv I don't know your situation. But you're a porn addict in recovery, I know that much. So I really don't believe you're on the right path here. Let's not even discuss it. Either you see some truth in my words or you don't. It's your life. All the best!
I think that if you fall off a few times right now, it's not that big of a deal. I mean you could avoid it. Go to the gym or more effective would be to sleep over at a friend's house during this period of difficulty. You just broke up with your GF, you're having compulsive urges. You need to relax and get in touch with yourself again. Spend some time in silence and do some journaling. Determine what you want next in life in all areas especially relationships. Reconnect to your purpose. Once u have those things in place, abstaining from PMO will be easier. We often PMO as a distraction because some part of our life is causing us pain...
@icebreaker polarstern and @SuperiorMan95 thank you both for your support, I'm keeping myself distracted, one day a movie, another visiting my family. I agree I need to put things in place, one step at the time.
Not just distracted. Do some introspection. Connect to yourself. Read The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. You're welcome.
Good advice! Unfortunately it's not what comes to my mind spontanously. I think I also have likely problems in such situation, because I don't see these things naturally. I won't be prepared to do that kind of self-care when something brakes, I mostly react a little later to it.
Good, all strength and growth comes first from admitting where you are weak. The fact that this mentality does not come to you spontaneously shows that you need to train your mind better.
Thanks, I followed your advice and so far it's a great reading that is making me company these days. I'm also making some introspection, acknowledging my edges and moving forward, a long path ahead but I look it optimistically.
