sex with wife

Yes.

 

Yes! Have sex, soft mode reboot.

 

Well... the no sex thing kinda went out the window today. It felt right though- kinda like the first time again. She said she is still worried but I think I’m starting to see some improvement. We’ve been happier today than we have for a long time, so I’m optimistic about the future.

So yeah, no sex reboot didn’t last very long but no PMO is going to continue indefinitely. My advice is to just keep talking to her and really show you understand that your way of thinking was wrong. It know if feels like cheating but it’s a disease. It wasn’t a moral failure- it’s an addiction and you should both understand that. Just wondering, did you come clean to her about it or did she confront you?

 

We both felt much closer and goofier, but I’m being honest with you- today I feel like a b*stard. Someone posted something similar on my own thread but after you O during the reboot (even without artificial stimulation) it feels like you’ve taken 2 steps back. I felt great yesterday but today I’m irritable and just feeling mean. I guess PM still has a grip on me and I suppose it’s still early days.

I’m in the same boat! It feels like I can’t enjoy anything without becoming addicted. FIFA’s my latest thing and I’ve spent way too much time on that sh*t. Haven’t spent real money yet so I suppose that’s something. Good luck- there’s a bright future out there without PM!

 

Yup. Just ride out the krappy feeling bro. You’ll be back to normal and after awhile an O won’t do that anymore. Just only have real sex and your brain will re wire. Takes awhile but you won’t even remember the way it makes you feel depressed and cranky. In fact you’ll feel good for a few days after real sex. Also substitute caffeine with adequate sleep, it makes you grumpy and messes with your erection. Also don’t drink or smoke weed. Any artificial stimulants are designed by big money corporations to keep us down and worksheep. Rise up. It’s all just to keep us docile and weak. Coffee is the biggest trend to make people think they can’t live without it. Fake. “Oh I can’t function without my first cup of coffee”. Wake up sheep. Caffeine is legal addictive meth that makes Starbucks rich. If your tired in the morning, go to sleep earlier. Will power and self control. Cmon

 

I had this caffeine debate on another thread, I can give up coffee for weeks at a time....some people saying it helps with erections on NoFap, others saying it weakens erections? Who do I believe??!

 

All drugs affect people differently. Me personally I wake up at 4am ready to rock and roll because I’m a navy seal. Just kidding I’m just a dad. I’d say drink drink a bunch off caffeine then see how it effects your boners.Then have a low sugar/caffeine day a few days later after it’s out of your system and check again. But idk, I’m not a dr, I just play one on tv. But for me caffeine is my enemy physically AND mentally. Mood. Have a good weekend man. Happy new year!

 

Yeah think I’m gonna return to no PM and O now, for at least 90 days. Need to reboot my way of thinking about O. Both of us are feeling low but I hope we can find a way through this.

 

Hey.. I'm now 28 or 29 days in (I lose count until it shows up in the signature bit lol). I'm still absolutely having sex with my wife during this, she's my whole reason for giving it up so is a constant reminder of how much better things are getting when we are together. Before I couldn't O with her, not even manually after sex by the end. We've had sex 3 times since I stopped and each one was better than the last. Sensitivity is coming back, able to enjoy the moment more and not feel like I'm chasing an O, concentrating on her much more too.

My commitment is no PM and no O without my wife. Gotta say, I thought I would really struggle as I "had a very high sex drive". Turns out that was my addiction/habitual porn use talking. I do feel aroused regularly now but it's with my wife and when it's appropriate to be, and we can do something about it. Together.

All that said, I think I was kinda lucky as around 10 days in I was chatting with someone else on here and it sort of gave me an epiphany moment. Everything fell into place and I had a real clear image of where I could end up versus where I wanted to be. So that has been a huge help for me to get that early on. When you're struggling with the addiction, really dig deep into yourself to see WHY you're feeling like you do. It may surprise you and give you the same clarity.

I haven't spoken to my wife about any of this yet, I wanted to reach 30 days which nicely ties in with a new year. At least I can then open up to her and say I'm fixing it too. She's my rock, so hopefully she will understand and see the improvements over this last month as well.

 

So it sounds like your biggest concern is what she thinks of you, not your actual recovery, or even hers. I mean I'm not about to insult you for wanting your wife to not think badly of you, but it sounds a lot like that's your biggest desire for change in all this, and that shouldn't be the case. Have you asked your wife how your addiction makes her feel? Have you asked her about betrayal trauma? Is she seeing a counselor for any of it? I feel like the best way for an addict to change the opinion their SO has of them is to simply work on their own recovery and offer help in any way necessary to their so in their recovery.