NoFap

  1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Can I run?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Hopeishe, Jun 6, 2018.

  1. Jun 6, 2018 #1
    Hopeishe

    Hopeishe Fapstronaut

    82
    56
    18
    Hi all.
    Today I watched a video on YouTube...

    Interestingly, the speakers were talking about how the betrayed spouse should look into her/his needs/conditions first ...instead of finding ways to fix the PA.

    And I thought, yeahhh... What about me???
    I had stayed after the D-Day, infact, since 4years ago giving him three chances.

    And now I've got to the point of having panic and fear attacks..and some other betrayal trauma.

    +++
    He can't seem to withstand my emotional outburst (which is now very mild as I have matured in handling strong negative feelings), and I need to heal.

    Why does he expect me to be all happy go lucky in less than one month after the discovery?

    When he didn't lift some heavy weights on his own. It was always me coming up with ideas to stop porn and he'll either accept it with resentments or shoot them down.

    He thinks if I had better self-esteem, more friends and work at the office, I wouldnt care if he watches porn or not.

    ----

    Can I run? Can I have some time out from him? Will a temporary separation bring some better perspectives?
     
    Hopeishe, Jun 6, 2018
    Hopeishe, Jun 6, 2018
    #1
  2. Jan 11, 2020 #2
    Joe1023

    Joe1023 Fapstronaut

    941
    1,096
    123
    My Journal
    I was just going through some older posts and I saw this one and wanted to comment here. As a PA, I couldn't be more upset for you in this thread. The focus always seems to be on the PA and VERY rarely on the recovery of the SO. Granted, there are BT videos and some resources for the SO's recovery, but there is so much more material for the recovery of the PA. I'm sure this is beyond valid since it was so long ago, but I'd like to validate this point regardless. Yes, you absolutely have the right to separate yourself from the PA for awhile. Trying out a separation may bring better options into play. It will give you both time to think about the entire situation and everything involved that might not be completely visible while still so close together. And that crack he made about you not caring if he watches porn? Let's just say it sounds like stupidity has taken form in that statement, especially for believers which it appears you may be from your profile pic (which I REALLY like, by the way!) Either way, no spouse, male or female, should ever feel like they're being encouraged, forced, manipulated, or tricked into being okay with their PA spouse to watch porn or act out in any fashion to their sexual addiction.

    I'm sorry no one responded to this post and I have no idea what your situation is today, but I hope you are doing okay and that this post may bring you some small amount of comfort.


    God bless.
     
    Joe1023, Jan 11, 2020
    Joe1023, Jan 11, 2020
    #2

Share This Page