I will never forget the look she gave me!

I would try it and see. It sounds like you do not have much to lose by stopping PMO, and lots to gain. Good luck.

 

That's a good question really. I haven't read anything that really says bad things about using pills to make things work while you are rebooting your brain. The trick of course is to not let the success of the pills lead you to think you don't need to drop the porn and then to know when to get off the pills.

Question, are you getting erections when you are anticipating a possibility of sex with your wife? Some PIED seems to be ok up to the point of sex, then the erection fails. If you can't figure out a way to tell if you need the pill, I'd suggest probably just lowering the dosage over time while you are rebooting your brain, aiming for no pill after 6 months or so.

 

It really is a tough question, while I really believe that the help of a understanding SO through all the process is fundamental (for me my wife’s support has been my biggest strength) I also believe that the support of the SO can only come from a position of trust and confidence that you really want to change. I don’t know how long you have been together in order to have built that trust already but at some point she will have to know, building a relationship on a lie probably won’t end well and trust is the pillar of a good relationship. If she finds out 1 or 2 years into marriage would probably hit here pretty hard because will only mean you did not trust her enough to tell her before.


What could work is to work hard on the 90 day reboot and try to solve PIED and then from that position come forward to her saying that you have already worked hard to do something about it and is because you love a trust her that you want her to be a part of you recovery.


I don’t have all of the context but I hope this helps and good luck going forward. Stay strong.

 

Both Faceplanter and ko0ofo0o669 have good answers. The big question is whether you tell your SO or not.

Among the very few women I talked with about this, almost all view the man's erection as a judgment of what he "really" feels about her. When I told one woman about my PIED, she dismissed it and said I wouldn't have any problems if she was with me. Another was convinced that the pills just make it go up for no other reason, rather than simply enabling something that still only happens when the man is attracted. There can be a lot of very strongly held, but inaccurate, beliefs around this. On the other hand, I've read journals on NoFap where the woman is extremely understanding and it by far was the best thing to do.

So I'm deeply wary of disclosure, especially so early in the relationship. On the other hand, if you look at my life, you'll probably decide I'm not a very good source of advice.

If you keep the pills a private matter and taper them off over time it will very likely all work out. But if she discovers the pills, you now have the same awkward conversation you were trying to avoid, plus the complication of explaining why you didn't tell her about the pills.

Other than all the awesome sex, I don't envy you. Whatever you do, for the sake of your new and very promising relationship, please stop the porn and masturbation immediately. You have terrific motivation to do so.