I am trying to quit. For real this time. I've always known I have an addictive personality. Thankfully, not to anything extremely harmful like drugs or alcohol, but I've definitely have it in several other aspects of my life. Food and soda, biting my nails, being on my phone, and at the crux of it all, porn. I've toyed with the idea of quitting before. I've been able to abstain for a few days, maybe even a week, but eventually, I convince myself I deserve a little reward for being so good for so long. And just like that, I slowly fall back into that destructive pattern. Eventually my girlfriend talked to me about how much this hurt her. How sometimes she wants to initiate sex, but she's scared because I might not stay hard. Or she might find that I haven't closed the porn on my phone, and she sees the things and people I've masturbated to, making her feel inadequate. And it's ruining her self confidence and happiness. So I told her I would get it under control. And for a little while, it would be ok. But again, I would eventually slip back into my old habits, and the sex would get worse and worse until we started this cycle all over again. This has happened about 5 or 6 times over the last 18 months we've been together. Well, today we realized that this cycle cannot continue. Something has to change. And I told her the truth, just as I'm telling you right now. I don't know how to control this. I don't know how to turn off that voice that says "Do it. It'll be fine. Just one time won't hurt." I don't know what to do. I need to learn how to control this. This has certainly affected my current relationship, but it's also cause problems in almost every relationship I've ever been in, and it will continue to do that until I get this under control. So that's why I'm here. I'm not good at asking for help, but I need it. So this is my day 1. I'm trying, for real this time.
Welcome! Hope you can find the help you need here. I’ve personally found great strength and desire through sharing what’s really going one with others in a safe, nonjudgmental place. This is one of those places for sure. I’m new to nofap but have been part of 12 step groups in the past and one of the things that I feel is important in recovery is loving who I am in spite of the mistakes I have made, still make, and might make. Sometimes it seems easier to beat myself up but I can have greater freedom from porn if I care about myself, because then I can see how little porn does for me. Anyway perhaps not useful advice but the good thing is there are lots of people here who can share their successes and you’ll definitely find a path that works for you!
It's really appreciative you decide to get back control over your life man! You want to work on you and your relationship with your girlfriend because i think you love her and yourself very much. That's a real good thing most people nowadays are not even aware of the reason why their relationship is not how they want it to be! It took a lot of let me say balls to be honest with in the firstplace yourself, and therefore also with your girl! You are stronger then you think you are man. Please keep going , and dont forget to ask eachother on this forum for help if you seem to fall back! Together we are strong. Edit- Thanks for sharing brother! Regards, Pigeon
You should count yourself lucky that you have partner who is open and wiling to help. There is plenty of good advice here and it sounds like you have a keeper. Stay strong and ask away.
