New here and could really use some help!

I honestly believe it would be best to tell her. Not only because it would be a practical help to the situation, but because it is the moral thing to do in a marriage. You take on the flaws and problems of someone else when you marry them, because you are committing to face the world as a team no matter what. I am optimistic that if you explain to her the depths of your issue and how deeply vulnerable it makes you feel, she will understand and you two will be able to work this out better. The added stress of hiding an addiction makes living in your own home and interacting with your wife tortuous.

Talk it over with her and work on a plan. A few days after you stop M and P you may notice your growing sexual vulnerability, and during this time, engaging in some kind of sexual activity with your wife will help you re-program your brain in a healthy manner. If it takes more than a few days, so be it, but it will come. Never hesitate to come back to the forum and update us or ask for further help, king.

Getting my girlfriend on board with my struggle was the single greatest thing I did.

 

It is common but is something you need to get a hold on. The goal of the reboot is a complete eschewing of PMO until your brain is ready to be re-programmed in a healthy way. Practice the 5-Second Rule with great prejudice. When a fantasy or triggering thought enters your mind, you have five seconds to get it out of your head. The best way to do this is to physically move and go do something, whether that's work on a hobby, work out, do a chore, whatever you have to do. Intrusive thoughts may be out of your power, but indulging in them is a choice.

 

That's the ticket. Never lose heart when you relapse, it is only a learning experience for next time. Little steps will still get you where you are going.