Another interesting read http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-single-biggest-obstacle-facing-boys-and-men-today/
This is just another article trying to encourage men to wear skirts and let women step on their balls.
That is an interesting take because the guy who wrote it is a very aware male who also talks a lot about how men are emasculated in todays culture. You could be right and to be honest I am not sure how I feel about the article.
Have you seen some of the other articles on the good mangina project? Hugo Schwyzer wrote one about how he might have cuckolded another man and tried to justify it.
Limeaid I must disagree with this. Masculinity is not something cultural. It is an innate thing men have. These last few months I've been having a sort of problem that bothered me and made me frustrated from time to time. Since I was so anxious and nervous all the time growing up, my anxiety still lingers in different forms. I have a naturally deep voice ( and recently I've been thinking that many more men have it but don't learn how to speak it), and since I exercise 6 times a week, I can't help but look very confident and even strong if I allow myself to be natural. However, I've been repressing my voice from being heard and instead speak like an almost scared guy who is hardly an adult and make myself seem silly rather than speak in a way that doesn't strain my vocal cords, my posture, my facial expressions, my behavior, and even my breathing. Instead, I've made my posture look like someone who is weak so people wouldn't know that I'm physically fit ( The anxiety level gets crazy, I know), I behave unnaturally, my face has a silly smile when I talk to guys, and my breath is exceptionally shallow. My point is, I've been doing just the oppossite of what that article says: repressing my natural behavior, voice, posture, mood, and character in general. With my progress in nofap getting better, these qualities are growing stronger and stronger and they appear more frequently anyway, despite the repression they recieve from my anxieties and negativities. Let's consider the fact that many or most men are PMO'ers now. Their masculinity is being eaten away by PMO. It is true in that article, that they "try" to be masculine, but that's only because it's much more difficult to be the naturally masculine guy when you're PMOing and ejaculating part of your life force over and over. But I'm happy that these men "cling" to masculinty, because they know that it is not something to be lost. Nofappers are becoming fewer and fewer in society, and men really feel that they need to put in vast amounts of effort to be masculine. But that doesn't mean it is conditioning. It is rather natural, and PMO (along with some other vices) is the reason masculinity is becoming extinct in some men, not some cultural "enlightenment".
How can anyone claim there's a pressure to be masculine when cuckold porn is everywhere there's a thread right below this one full of "men" who penetrate themselves like women.
I think that there is a very grey area where some think masculinity is being an asshole and some actually know what masculinity is. Maybe this article addresses people who think being masculine means being an asshole robot?
No. The fact that this article implies that masculinity is the path of least resistance (while Bruce Jenner gets showered with praise for doing the exact opposite) destroys all credibility.
Honestly, I didn't read the whole article. Maybe himelstoss read it? But when I saw things like "men conditioned by society to act in a certain way" or "transcending gender", I was quickly turned away. Transcending gender is something that is done on a spiritual level. A transcendence that pervades gender, lust, desire, fear, wealth, attachments...etc. But these advocates of "men shouldn't behave like men do, but like how women do", I think, are undermining that word and the service it's done us in the past! To answer your question, I am aware that for some men, being masculine includes having victims (of bad speech, or anything). I call those types of men who bring down others to step on them "social parasites". These type of people include some girls too. They hide their insecurities by different strategies. For example, a social parasite feeling uncomfortable in a group might bring down another individual and shift everyone's attention away from his or her flaws and towards the flaws that he/she wants that person to have so they would display confidence and maybe feel confident. You get my point, I hope. That's being an asshole, not masculine. Masculine traits are more neutral. For example, a guy feels uncomfortable if he's sitting with his legs very close to each other. Another example may be that most guys are ulikely to scream in scary situations. There are many ways that natural PMO-free guys are masculine that doesn't make them assholes.
I think the article is simply saying that men are trying to deny anything about themselves that might be deemed "girly" like feelings. I mean men have feelings because they're human but the article explains how men try to pretend they don't, or they numb out with video games and porn instead of expressing their feelings. Most addictions are based on that in the beginning. I agree that porn is killing masculinity but I think this article is talking about why men turn to porn for comfort to begin with. Men are not women we know that, but to vilify any type of feminine character trait as being UNmasculine is not right either. Anyway this is what I got out of the article. I think terms like "mangina" and "pussy" being used to describe men who show feelings or compassion or empathy pretty much shows how vilified those character traits are in men. I think this is what the article is trying to get across...
If that was the case then the article should have been "the biggest obstacle to people showing compassion" and then going on to say that both guys and girls often try to repress warm feelings and pretend to be careless to appear strong. I agree that those terms are not fit for compassionate people. I don't see how Gandhi was a pussy. I just feel like these types of articles, as himmelstoss said, are trying to get men to ultimately wear skirts. These people say to young guys: "hey man you've been conditioned to think and behave in a certain way, while in reality there's a girl in you who wants to express herself. Go, try out that skirt or lipstick. Try to seduce a guy if you can. Try anal sex, see how it feels. Express your sexuality. You may be truly feminine, who knows? you can only try and discover for yourself". Gender is gender. It's just something you born with, just like your eyes and ears, you develop sexual organs that belong to either male or female. It only became important in these last decades to "transcend gender". Why don't we "transcend" our arms and legs too? let's cut them and prove those people who advocate health of body wrong. I'll never understand how 'sexual identity' arose as a concept in the west and became so popular!
Life is simple when you don't give a shit, right? Except you are part of society and have to live with the consequences of all the shit you don't care about. So do all your friends and family. Speaking of family - I agree with one thing I picked up from the article: "The biggest obstacle facing men today is their own conditioning." Watch mangina Dennis to get some clues about who is doing the conditioning.
I was thinking about this thread a bit last night and spoke to my husband about it. I think the problem with this article is that boys are not being taught to embrace masculinity first and then being taught to embrace their femininity. Instead they are being taught to embrace their feminine side without having a clue as to how to embrace their masculine side because there are no valuable mentors. I really don't know. I am confused as a woman about my own femininity so I assume it is the same for guys. I definitely think the shame of being masculine needs to be lifted. Yeah Dennis had the exact same narcissistic mother as me and he became a codependant. Only Dennis can change that. Men and women share very similar experiences and to blame ALL women because you had a shitty mom is not going to help you. Where are his male role models? Uncles, father, family friends?
I agree somewhat! I don't see many people having problems in my social circle. They all find partners, jobs and seem happy. It's kind of like the idea that women only care about money and men only care about looks. I don't really see any evidence of that! Still fun to discuss it
@Sursum Corda Could you elaborate a bit on this? I think I know what you mean but don't want to assume....
The media is definitely a HUGE part of the problem. Even though TV and movies are total crap for the most part.. we have a hard time totally separating them from reality because it seems real while we are watching it. The human brain is designed to believe what it sees if what it sees seems realistic. We are more impressionable than we think and we believe more of the media's crap than we think we do. The media usually portrays women as moral authorities who are usually innocent, harmless and full of good intentions. A woman's motives are rarely questioned while men's motives are always questioned and its usually men who "screw up" or are "wrong" in any situation where there is conflict between a male and a female. The message is WOMEN ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. This is a very false, toxic and dangerous stereotype to perpetuate to young impressionable minds. Women grow up believing men should submit to their selfish whims while men grow up believing they should let women rule them. Women are rarely portrayed as evil or selfish. Instead they are portrayed as emotional, sensitive, innocent and crazy. As a result.. men are reluctant to punish women for evil acts. Such acts are dismissed as PMS, craziness or a reaction to abuse. This is why women get lesser punishments for the same crimes and people laugh when a woman cuts off a man's dick.
Thank you for that @Sursum Corda! I loved reading what you wrote, and that passage was beautiful. I believe this is what was meant to be and it is what both men and women want deep down. What we see instead are major power struggles of the sexes as both try to overpower the other instead of recognizing our need for eachother.
Televisiοn, Mοvies, Music, Magazines – Every piece οf entertainment media depicts men as bumbling idiοts and wοmen as the wise and strοng leaders. Media teaches us that all wοmen “deserve” happiness whatever the cοst and men are the pawns tο achieve that. That’s great fοr fantasy wοrld but that isn’t reality. The prοblem is that mοst peοple cannοt tell fictiοnal TV land apart frοm reality and act accοrdingly. If the man acted like an effete lοser in the mοvie and gοt the girl then maybe it will wοrk fοr me. There are almοst zerο masculine men in entertainment media. And when masculine men dο appear it’s as a gangster, redneck wife beater, a rapist οr sοmething equally stupid. Understand that Hοllywοοd in absοlutely nο way reflects reality οr hοw yοu shοuld act. Unfοrtunately the pοwer it yields is enοrmοus.
