The longest period achieved without P then an explosion.

Hey, congratulations on 33 days, Ronald. I was experiencing some of those problems you mentioned at day 30 and then day 60 after a boost in self-confidence very early on in the recovery. Fortunately I bounced out of my binge when I relapsed, which lasted only a day, and have been feeling much better in the subsequent 8-9 days.

You did succeed at the 33 days. That achievement can't be taken away from you, and it's obviously a hard-won achievement given how long you tried to quit. I'm wondering if, instead of hoping your anxiety-shyness and depression will just go away on its own with Nofap, that you can treat those feelings like you did the PMO temptation - recognizing the ways you've let yourself be tempted by shyness, frustration, anxiety, delusions, label them as false emissions, and not engage with them.

Have you tried meditation, Emotional Freedom Technique, Sedona Method, Z Point, The Release Technique, yoga or any mindfulness techniques, yet, Ronald? I'm curious whether any of these helped allay some of those problems you mentioned, even to a slight or temporary degree as they did with me. Also, would you mind telling me some of the alternative methods you've been using? I know it's a lot of questions, but I appreciate any info you could give.

~PL

 

Addiction is the result of voids in your spirit. What I mean by that is most addictions and addictive behavior is able to surface in our lives due to emotional voids. Weather it's childhood neglect, trauma, depression (Which can stem from all three), or an undiagnosed or unrecognized issue you've had in your life. The first step is realizing that 90% of the time the problem we've all had of addiction to MO'ing to P is the result of that. This is why you are questioning yourself. I say to dig deep. It's hard but I did it and that's why I'm going to succeed at my goal of 40 days, and from there quit all together. I finally reached a point where I realized I had unresolved issues from childhood and in my adolescence that allowed addiction to P to manifest in my life. Now that I understand that and understand how that effected me I can control my urges and look at the bigger picture. Every day is a battle. Some days are easy, others temptation creeps. All I can say is since having self realization (Which came after months of depression) I was then able to understand how cutting out this bad habit will help all other areas of my life. REMEMBER the problem lies beneath P and MOing...the problem is that we are addicted. Just like any narcotic or any addict who has had a problem with a drug this is no different. Stay strong. The shyness anxiety and loneliness certainly doesn't get better from P or MO'ing frequently or as you were before. Just realize that you need to look deeper into re building yourself up . Weather through therapy or deep prayer and mediation and having the conversation with your soul. Believe in yourself!!

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A few thoughts as I read this:

You aren't happy in your current environment. You don't see any improvement in yourself because you are removing your porn addiction without changing your environment. You will just be contributing to your unhappiness by not allowing yourself that little moment of thoughtlessness you get when you masterbait. I think its clear, the feeling of escape no matter how brief is your addiction.

I was in that same environment as you not long ago. The only thing that allowed me to quit my 8+ year porn addiction was a massive change in my surroundings. I moved out of my parents home, into a house of honorable men who devoted their lives to helping those in need. I replaced my video game and junk food habits with piano and exercise. I stopped pretending i was alone and started going out and meeting people. And the part of my mind that would even think to treat a woman like an object was simply drowned out in the process.

You are not stuck with irrational fears or addiction, they are just weeds you've let grow in your mind. You can't kill them immediately, but you can plant new seed. Plant the seed of positive habits, they can be watered to eventually outgrow those weeds.

Let me know if that makes sense to you,
Good luck, - Dan