I hate that I'm having to post this...

I am new to this whole experience, but my only success for the last 20 days is making myself busy with work and goals... and setting up social activities.
It is said in life: one needs something to hope for..
I have taken some time to think about this and my own failings as a person. Who do I want to be to myself, others, and my community? A child that hides and allows himself to react to urges? Certainly, I can strive further...I have been just been spending more time in nature and at Barnes and Nobles.
The idea of hiding myself away from the world to just give in to reactions disturbs me. I am not a man that hides. All of our actions should have purpose. I recently took action and joined some meet up groups and have tried some online dating. I don't have huge expectations... but am working to better my social behavior and relationships beyond a screen.
I have things to hope for.
Each day that I do not give into urges, I have become stronger. Honestly, I almost went crazy on day 17,18.... I left to just walk outside and even just ate a pile of food. I have screamed loudly in my car (bio-energetics). I have pushed aside the reactions, and moved forward with good intentions. I have been watching youtube video makers Elliot Hulse and Classik in regards to NoFap. As you can see, I have my own urges to control; but I am trying to improve. I think by just taking steps forward, you can begin to move in the right direction.

 

If you could just decide to quit and quit... then it likely wouldn't be worth quitting.
There is a lot to do, a lot you should do, to quit that will make quitting hugely worthwhile, beyond he physical and moral issues. It is about self discovery and how to direct your energies.

Ironically being determined to be in control typically leads to less control, or worse, if you succeed, simply suppressing yourself and opportunities for growth.

Once you cut MO porn and reboot will begin to lose it's appeal big time. If you look at porn with un-addicted eyes it's actually pretty horrible, pain abuse distortion, deceit an unappealing superficial meat market...

Anyway start exploring your mind, I wrote some of the things that helped me here:

http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/how-the-hell-do-you-quit-pmo.38413/#post-246854

 

"I don't know what else to do. I mean, abstaining from MO seems more like a matter of will."

Yes, exactly. A matter of will, a matter of choice. You did not get here by not making a choice. You, like the rest of us, made a choice, over and over and over, every day, multiple times a day, for years, to use. We used porn to get a dopamine high. The thing is, though we were using porn to get a dopamine high, like your father, like your friends, we did not really understand we were doing that. Your father and your friends, they don't understand that either, and if you tried to tell them, they would reject you out of hand, the ways addicts reject someone trying to talk them out of using. No one ever gets "talked out" of using; the addict quits when he hits rock bottom, when there is no place else to go. I think the question for you is, have you hit rock bottom? We were ignorant of what we were doing; we thought porn abuse was fun because a dopamine high feels great, it feels "fun"; if it felt bad we would not have done it. We did it because it felt great, it felt good, it felt like being alive, very alive. That is the nature of being high. And, if it had no negative consequences, we would probably still be doing it, mindlessly. So, what are the consequences the addiction has had for you, and are they sever enough you must quit?

In the beginning, for me, and I think for everyone else who has quit--and you must understand, this is not about seeing how many days you can go without, this journey must be about quitting, 100% abandoning the porn abuse lifestyle--I had to make the choice NOT to relapse 200 times a day. I had to make that choice multiple times a day, every day, for 3-4 months. And then the choice was made 100 times a day, then 50, then a few times a day, then only a few times a week. Now, most weeks, I don't have to make the choice; not using has become my lifestyle. Your brain, like mine, can be consciously trained not to want porn. But it won't happen in 13 days, and most report needing at least 90 days of no porn, no PMO, no MO, no O, no sex, and no hypersexual thoughts or artificial sexual stimulation. Today, this morning, for me, was a rare day. Today the thought of PMO occurred to me; it does not most days. The thought occurred, my choice was quick and easy: "No, I won't". My next choice was whether to put cream or cold water in my morning coffee. Once you have trained yourself not to want it, that is how easy the choice becomes. Right now you think I am lying, but if you can get to 90 days, you will see the truth.

Sir, I have absolute confidence you will succeed in this. You are not quitting passively. The fact you have installed blockers, have hidden your password, and are giving up your smart phone for a dumb phone tells me you are committed. The only gift I can give you is to tell you it can be done. But, between here and 90 days clean, you are going to suffer severe withdrawals. They will end, but the real test comes in the middle, when you must embrace the thought that if you have to feel like you are dying, every day, for the rest of your life, you are willing to feel like you are dying every day for the rest of your life, if that is what it takes to be free of the addiction, to kill it.

When you are willing to feel that, you will win.

 

I ain't no expert but i think blocking everything is not gonna work in a long-run. It's all about discipline and you choosing not to relapse.

 

Wow it sounds like you are the crack addict living in a crack den trying to get clean!! That royally sucks. I think you are taking good steps towards getting it out of your life. I know this is going to sound crazy but have you told your "low life degenerate" friends and your dad about NoFap? Maybe hurl yourself into a holier than thou speech whenever they turn it on. It might help them, it might help you OR you might become the creep they don't want to be around...either way bonus for you

 

It seems to be a pretty common case for many people, because we live in such a sexualized society. Porn and sex seems so normal to my friends (boy or not) and normal conversations have a potential of converting into a massive trigger-fest. Yes, fighting to quit this BS will be hard, it makes you a "black sheep" amongst the white sheep, but is it worth it? Ask yourself that question.

You see, many people are ignorant to what they're spoiling themselves with and to what extent. Society depicting that porn is normal makes things worse, it encourages them to keep their actions, further making them be ignorant. Stuff saying that "masturbation reduces risk of ball cancer" becomes the number one tool for rationalization, the "excuse" for continuing to fap without caring much about other factors. That's why we're surrounded by porn addicts, it's the society we live in.

If you read my journals you'd know that I don't like blocking software. Why? Yeah it may help temporarily, keep you off those sites, but you should look at things from the big picture, in a more general scheme. Is it beneficial in the long run? You should develop that self-control, discipline and proper mindset to fully reboot, to fully get the benefits of NoFap. The people around you are obstacles, not concrete walls, if you have the will, you can push through it. YES, it is a matter of will! If it isn't, everybody in the world can quit sh*t cold turkey.

And by pushing through the obstacles I don't mean trashing them out of the field, dealing with an addiction shouldn't get you kicked out of the house and disconnected from the world. The usual actions that help with abstinence like cold showers and working out, productive activities to develop the right mindset, resisting the PAIN and TEMPTATIONS to develop your inner strength. Don't be afraid of discomfort, eventually the people around you won't affect you, you will gain your prize and achieve what you want. Wanna help them out? Deal with the obstacles that you so very dislike? Raise their awareness, bring them up from their knees and help them kill off this addiction. You don't need to force it on them, you don't need to feel "ashamed", do what you can and move on.

If you want further help I'd be willing to help you out. Fight through the pain, the urges, stretch your comfort zone, get comfortable with discomfort! Pain is temporary, eventually it will subside! What if you quit? It will last forever.

 

Porn burns my mind and rattles me deeply after I view it. Like the negative and demonic energies in it that worldlings are completely ignorant to.

Porn warps minds and hearts, isn't it just fucking scary as hell to think we live in a society that views it as acceptable and normal?

 

In my view willpower alone is not enough. It is more about skill power than willpower. Perhaps this Ted talk will be helpful to you. It illustrates the importance of being in the right environment and getting support. If your friends pursue activities that take you away from your goals, then ask them to avoid doing that when you are with them or seek friends that share your values and goals. Remain positive. Do not be discouraged and try to stay strong even if it is difficult to do so right away.