Ironically, I was in a porn chat room when someone suggested this site to me. I've been looking at internet porn since the days when you had to read it before they posted pictures... I have found myself wasting hours, days, months and years on this site. I'm hoping to learn to kick this addiction and overall make myself a much better man for my wife.
I'm embarrassed to say how scared I am of doing this. Giving up porn - something I've wanted to do, but the longest stretch I've ever achieved was two weeks. At two weeks I rewarded myself with porn. Disgraceful. I have to work a lot on my computer for work and I have found myself going to porn sites when I sat down to actually work. I've been watching porn or chatting in porn sites with my wife actually in the room with me. I've fantasized about my wife being as slutty as the women in the porn I watch. (I very much hope to be able to turn "watch" to "watched") I've hoped she would go out so I could spend hours watching porn and freely masturbating while projects and responsibilities go by the wayside. I truly hate everything I've just written, but I'm so glad that I have just written it. I've justified this behavior for so many years that I can't count, but I can't keep doing this. Not to myself, and not to my wife. She caught me once and I promised to stop, but that promise lasted two days. Now I need to make that promise to myself.
Welcome, ctjohn! There are a lot of us in our forties here, and yes this change is possible at our age. I recommend finding one or more accountability partners who can give you support and some positive peer pressure. The connection with others who understand is a valuable and meaningful part of this. I won’t sugar coat it, this involves some suffering and hard times, but you can do it and you’ll be so glad you did. Stay strong.
Thank you so much. It has become such a habit to open the computer and go to a porn site, but I'm pushing this site as the one I go to first when I do log on.
I was struggling this morning. Literally the only thing I wanted to do was look at porn, but I logged on here and just starting reading and typing. Writing things out have made me realize a few things and lessened the urge. Thank you so much for checking in. I think I'm going to need all the help I can get.
I'm here bro. While I do have four children to myself while my wife is at training for Texas corrections as a correctional officer, I will be here as much as I can. I'll be an accountability partner
I was really good this morning, but right now I am in my prime PMO hours. Get home from the gym and straight for porn. Wife is away for a few days so I'm the only thing stopping me right now. Trying to do just what I need to do for work online, then get outside to take care of some chores. How are you doing?
Thank you! 25 days sounds like forever right now, but hour by hour I'm going to do the best I can. Three hours away from two days!
I'm doing well. I'm glad to hear that you're still with us. Find other interests, watch a good movie on Netflix or hulu
lots of work outside today plus some errands. Feeling pretty good right now. Have some more things to take care of and then will likely pass out exhausted later.
