How I found this forum in my life (a real story of me .Its long but worth it!)

My Origin of porn addiction

I am from India. I used to be a topper of my class and a very social person . I used to talk to girls very confidently. But I am not lucky enough to have a good father . My porn addiction is caused not due to my adventurous friends or x rated movies . That time I did not have a personal phone . It was due to my father. He used to watch porn infront of us when I was 8years old, when we(me and my sister) were playing chess or caroms. That's right even before my sister(thinking that we were focusing on game and not watching him).I generally knew that I should not see this kind of stuff so used to not see the screen and focus on my game . when I was 13 years old , one worst day of my life , I was alone in home and thought of watching a movie. so I opened the computer and suddenly I saw a video(porn).At first It was very weird and repelling but later(may be due to my adolescence and alone in home) I liked it and started to watch it (and fap to it)

My downfall

As I said ,I used to be topper of my class and a social person. I used to have amazing will power . I gradually turned to a loser and a loner . I am very afraid and guilty to talk to a girl (for no fucking reason).But I never related this to my porn problem(after that worst day I started to watch daily and masturbate atleast 2 times daily). I compromised my self that I am normally a loser and a loner .Its just luck to be my childhood that great . But I significantly noticed my change in will power to do things that I wanted to do. So one day I asked my dad about my problem. then he replied "Its normal to see this kind of stuff, and its a sign that you are turning to a man". But then I knew he is just trying to coverup his weakness. After 3 years I opened up my problem to my close friends. they too told me its normal to fap daily . So I given up on my quest to relate this problem to my downfall.

One miracle day

2 years back I saw a video on harmful effects of porn and masturbation. Then I saw a striking relation between my problem and shown. So I experimented myself to 7 days of no masturbation . then I sensed a feeling I used to have when I did not have this addiction(during this time I did not know about nofap existence). But relapsed because my urges were more dominant. But I did not give up, I searched about porn related problems(by then I have my own laptop and did not depend on my dad).Then I found a book called "Your brain on porn by Gary Wilson". I read it and found clarification of my doubt about porn addiction is a myth or real. And I also came to know about "NoFap" and today I joined nofap. I started nofap long before I knew about nofap. But then I used to have self doubt and I used to not have any support.

But now I have no doubt about this nofap and I have support from you guys.

Now I think I can do longer streaks and not give up because of you . thank you

Thank you for listening to story patiently , I wish you all the best on your streak

But before you leave . one small note

As I said my downfall is caused due to my father and I used to blame him for not taking basic fatherly responsibility. But 1 year back I saw a quote "we are always choosing" and "we are always responsible for our problems". The bitter truth of life is "there is no use in blaming others for our problems". If we want to change our life , we only must change ,no one will change for us. So people who read my story , In your life you may fell in this trap due to a friend of yours or your relative(For me my own father). But you only must take the initiative to change your life. Thank you .

And support me in this journey