I just want a loving girl in my life

Hello, Luke.

I hope you're having a great night away from porn and those bad habits we all are trying to avoid. Please, in order to make a solid opinion about your post I'm gonna tell you a bit about me. I'm a 22 yo old guy who started masturbating at 12. I had my first real relationship at 21. I would like to say that I lost my virginity with my first girlfriend(she was virgin tho), but sadly no. I lost my virginity with some cheap hooker for only 10 $ (some solid 10 min of "heaven").

When I was your age, back in 2016, I was in my loneliest point in my life, no friends, no girl-friends, I suffered from bullying at college and rejection from people because of the way I looked, I used to have a really long hair, so you can imagine how disgusting someone could look. Having that in mind, I fapped indiscriminately every day. It was something natural already, just like open your eyes. Anyways that year I didn't even heard about the benefits of NoFap but in 2018-2019. In those years I started trying to get in touch with girls, I cut my hair and adopted a positve attitude despite the circumstantes. So I downloaded dating apps just like Tinder and Badoo mainly. I failed, miserably, I had just realized how bad I was at flirting when I actually thought it was easy since many girls from my school claimed that I some of them liked me, even for more than a friendship. Anyways, after failing so many times I just gave up and started thinking that none of the girls on planet earth were made for loving me. So I started with hookers and then I met someone on Tinder, she claimed that she really was into me and wanted to meet me. We met and it was all natural, we really got along with each other and a month later we became a couple. Now, here's the best part, that girl actually never loved me, she just used me in order to make his exboyfriend jelaous e.x. using instagram stories, messenger stories, and stuff. I was practically forced to appear in every goddamned photo for her media. Anyways I'm not here to talk about how mannipulative and evil was my exgirlfriend and how he even reached the point of giving me her virginity just to fake a happy relationship but if you're interested to know she ended up leaving me when she caught her exbf attention.

So I was there "Alone again(naturally)". None of girls are really able to love me, they're just using me and, besides I had some casual sex with some other girls from those dating apps, it's just sex, like assisted masturbation I'm really feeling in my worst state of mind. I started hating girls because of it. I just think "I'm really not important to any girl but my mom". And those kinds of thoughts can really make your life horrible, I'm the living proof. So please, Luke, listen to this advise, maybe it will not sound "wise" or "encouraging" but don't ever look for a girl in order to save you from your emptyness, the only person who can save you from that it's yourself. Love yourself, you are enough for your life. In this era and this society many girls are more likely to betray your feelings because it's in their nature. Of course you can go and try with dating apps and that stuff, get along with some girl, fucking her, calling her your girlfriend, bringing her home with mom, and a large etcetera, But keep this in mind, if you fall in love you're doomed. I admit having someone there to make some company can be flawless but at what cost? You really need to focus on yourself before looking for a partner, if you go unarmed to a war you'll probably die faster than someone who brought armor and a lot of ammo.

In summary, love yourself, most of girls are heartless sluts even the most innocent-looking ones, just go after them when you assimilate the previous points.

 

Everyone needs affection. Do you have any family? You can open up to them. If you have good friends that works too. You just have to be willing to open up. It's okay to talk about your feelings with other people. If you don't share, it will be very hard for those who care for them to see what's going on with you.

A girlfriend should not be you therapist. I agree so much with @mrcreep. Get to know yourself and work on your problems.

 

Then, you need to grow into being a loving, stand-up guy with character and self-worth. That'll be infinitely attractive to a girl at some crossing, and you will have established a self-foundation out of which you can love a girl and meet her needs and not just trying to cling and grasp upon a relationship out of your own neediness, which only produces codependent and dysfunction relationships one after another, which you don't want. And, you're still very young with conflicting and doubtful feelings, and that is natural. Again, work upon your own self-foundation, use this valuable free time that you have now while not in a relationship, and then you will have something to really build upon when that girl comes around, and both of you just might be happier to boot. Best wishes!

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