Sissy porn and crossdresser addiction

Hey man let me just say my situation is extremely similar to yours and that I really feel what you're going through.

I'm turning 22 next year. When I was 16, I started getting into CDing and sP. I thought it was just some weird desire of mine until I tried having sex. I couldn't get hard at all, and the girl didn't want to see me anymore. I thought being a sissy was my lot in life and I just had to accept it, no matter how shameful and wrong it felt. I was plagued with thoughts of how I've been brainwashed or I'm genetically destined to be a sissy. I was in a really low point for a long amount of time.

Before I go on, let me just tell you that all of that was a lie, an illusion. I literally laugh when I look back at the things I thought and the hopelessness and shame it caused me.

Did I wear some weird shit, stick things up my ass, and watch a fuckload of sP? Fuck yeah. Does it matter? Not in any way. I was just a kid who got confused by porn, started doing weird shit, and felt shitty about it. You obviously feel shitty and confused about it too, and I bet if you do what I did, you'll start living a fun and shameless sex life.

There are two stages to your inititial recovery: the reboot and rewire.

In the reboot, you go 90 days without Porn, Masturbation, or Orgasm. Basically...

• you can't ingest any arousing media or engage with any arousing items or situations
• you can't be sexually stimulated or pleasured in any way (by your own doing, a partner's, or by an object)
• you can't be brought to orgasm

The reboot is tough, not gonna lie. If you do the reboot correctly, neurons in your brain that are wired to porn, especially sP, are literally dying, and will make you feel all sorts of ways to get you hooked back on PMO. You just have to resist for 90 days, and then you move onto step two...

In the rewire, you just have normal sexual relationships to make your mind forget about porn and start realizing the good shit is with actual people and actual relationships. You talk with MotPS, flirt with them, date, and most importantly have sex. One of the biggest thing NoFap and its membrs get wrong is that they advocate for these ridiculously long periods of abstinence. Instead, you need to have sex to retrain your brain. At first, the sex may not feel great, and may actually be bad. However, over time (about 2-3 months), you should be in prime sexual condition.

After the reboot and rewire, a much longer phase of porn recovery set in over the course of several years. This may include but is not limited to:

• different exercise/nutrition plan
• long term partner
• better social life and habits

While this is a good road map to conquering a PA and PIED, we both have the interesting case of sissy porn.

I think I can help you more if we were to DM, but I will say here that your life gets better. If sP feels wrong and makes you feel shitty and shameful, you can exorcise it from your life. You are not bound to it forever, and you are not cursed by the mistakes of your past. You are young and healthy, and you have a life ahead of you full of awesome sex and relationships. You can't give up, but you need to plan to get better. Hmu if you wanna talk some more

 

Your question is a fundamental one many of us wrestle with: Am I this way and porn has made me explore it or did porn make me this way?

To answer you need to quit porn—permanently. You need to also do some deep inner searching—what turns you and what are you attracted to? After six months, does it change?

I would also suggest therapy—it can help you figure things out.

you must also have patience—it could take awhile to get it sorted.

 

I don't understand why you say that? what's disgusting if you are sub?

 

Because clearly being a sissy is the manifestation of years of low self respect, self degradation and the mentality that you are meant to be degraded. And since the idea of being a sissy is an extreme pornographic concept, fuelling that lifestyle only continues to fuel the extreme porn's influence over an individual. You're eroticising the idea that you are worthless. That's fucked up. I don't think anyone suffering from a sissy porn addiction genuinely likes it, but rather continues to degrade themselves more and more because the disrespected brain needs its dose of shocking and extreme material. It a never ending cycle towards self destruction that will never have a happy ending.

 

Or it could be a means for a man who identifies with feminine sexuality to experience sex while being a make.

Being a submissive doesn't always mean you're embracing worthiness or inferiority. More often it's about surrendering control to a more dominant person. Like a ying/yang--one is no better or worse just opposite sides of a coun. I've been with partners that were aggressive and dominant, but loved being totally submissive in the bedroom.

 

I think it depends what extreme fetish it is and the dom. I don't feel degraded because of it but I can see what you are saying.

 

It depends if this desire to be submissive manifested from a natural desire to be submissive, or from low levels of self respect. The vast majority of people who suffer from sissy porn experience low self respect and literally force themselves into watching sissy porn as a way to further degrade themselves. That mixture of low self respect, feelings of going against who a person is, and extreme levels of porn can be an extremely self destructive combination for someone with levels of inferiority. Not to mention that OP is clearly straight, so the idea of being a sissy already goes against his natural sexuality, which further intensifies the mixture of what I have stated above. The majority of sissy porn consumers have literally eroticised inferiority and are hooked on the degrading rush it gives them because they think that this is all that they are worth. Its terrible and if you read the vast majority of sissy porn stories, you'll realise that none of them want this lifestyle. And if they don't want that lifestyle, then they shouldn't be made to accept it, since it's fuelled by a low level of self worth, which WILL ultimately end in self destruction. This is all from the perspectives of straight guys who end up down this rabbit hole. I can't speak for other sexualities or genders, but in terms of the average straight guy who uses this content, there is always a general level of low self worth.

 

To be sub or even a sissy is fine. What is not so fine is to be hooked and addicted to whatever substance and behavior. When a behavior becomes compulsive, obsessive then obviously one lost control over it. And the program is now running you. Do you like that?

 

I think the fetishes will never truly disappear. We must come to terms with this. It's NOBODIES fault, just a trick that the universe played on us.

BUT --this is the most important part-- the addiction to fantasy, fetishes and porn will disappear.

Look, there is a HUGE difference between having some kinks and being completely addicted, indulging in porn and fantasy every day and many hours a week.

Even if you can't be 100% clean, you cut down on porn and fetishes so much. That should give you hope. Relax, you are OK the way you are.

SELF WORTH is your problem, not the fetishes.

 

No i'm not. it didn't let me reply in my inbox. Have a good day KammaSati

 

hehe but I thought it isn't exfetishist if you still have the fetish

 

Ur pic says it all. That's what most "sex positive" people look like who use "fetishes", "kinks" and whatever else to continue to justify the self-degradation and degradation of others.

Being a sissy is NOT fine. The one and only thing you come into this world with is ur manhood. Not money. Not a house. Not a car. The first thing you are given and you get to keep for life are those XY chromosomes. Everything else you get is an appendage that can be stripped from you in an instant. So my advice to all men is that you better not be a sissy. You are cutting away at the only thing you can say "I OWN THIS!! IT'S MINE!!" To be a sissy is to TAX your own manhood. And for what? For what? Why? What do you gain out of that? Like that's the one thing nobody can tell you in these conversations. Outside of temporal, short-lived, minute and often deceitful pleasure- WHAT ELSE DO YOU GAIN??

@Staystrong2020 u need to actually look at ur life. Why do u even feel comfortable enough going into ur moms room, taking her underwear and putting it on. Like.... think about that. Really PONDER and ask urself "Why do I feel comfortable enough doing that?" "WHY did I cross that boundary?"
And don't blame it on porn!!! Don't say "porn pushed me to do it," okay maybe it influenced you, but you still made a decision- and the truth is you had to have weighed the pros vs cons in ur head (which happens in milliseconds). So that thing that happens in split-seconds, you need to expand that and take 30 minutes, maybe an hour, and write down why you thought that you could cross that boundary. And for what??? Write down what you gained from that? Like what did you gain??
I promise u that doing that will help u realize really what ur doing and put it into new perspective

 

okay good for you but i would say you are too closed minded. Have a nice day!

 

I have been addicted to sP for years now, ever since I was a teenager just getting into High School. Recently, as an act of spiritual devotion, I have been attempting to confront all the things in my mind and heart that I have buried over the past 14 or so years of my life, starting with sP. I tried something of this kind once before, but relapsed, and then decided to bury it all again. But I believe that this time I have found a way out, in the place I least wanted to look. Acceptance.

Now this part is very easily misunderstood, and misunderstanding it before has led me to numerous relapses (especially after streaks of >9mo abstinence where I still dreamed about it). What I mean by acceptance is, acceptance that this is who you are *now,* but NOT (and I cannot emphasize this enough) *who you have always been.*

Here is what I mean, regardless of how you came to be this way, you are this way right now. You may have walked blindly into it (like I did) and not understood what you were getting into, but you are this right now. To deny it, and insist to yourself that in fact you aren't attracted to being a s and a bottom or being a girl or whatever, is self deception. And we need to be clear about this, you can't deceive your heart about what it wants. It is true that it was conditioned to want it, but it *does* want it.

So, I undertook to attain a total lack of self deception about my desires, and confront the bare truth. I layed out in plain detail exactly what I felt, regardless of whether I wanted to feel it, and avoided relapsing as much as possible. I had only one relapse day, but I finally gained the clarity necessary to see where I was, and once I accepted it, I began to see how to get where I wanted to be.

First, I had to accept that deep in my heart I really did want to totally and completely accept femininity, and be with men. Then, from there, it became about not being a sissy, it became about being *female,* down to the womb, marriage, childbirth, and nursing children.

Now, the way back to masculinity and heterosexual desire was not, I could finall see, by asking the question of how can I excise these desires. It was to look at the path I wanted to traverse not as a man trying to reclaim masculinity; but as a heterosexual woman becoming a man through sexual exploration. Because I had already traversed these steps in the opposite direction, I saw it was easier to look at the entire path almost in fast forward.

The key was to understand that everything looks different from opposite sides. If you've driven down a road, and look behind yourself at the signposts you passed, they will be utterly illegible and useless to you; and if you try to go in reverse, you'll almost certainly end up in a car accident. However, if you follow that road to a cross street, and then make a U turn and drive ahead along the *other* side of the road (which goes in the opposite direction); at the end you will find yourself at the destination you originally departed from and have not been able to find since.

You don't get bogged down in any one point, you drive headlong into female heterosexuality, then as soon as you arrive there; you make a U turn and drive down the F to M side of that road, and because you know the way, and it's a conscious willful process rather than a gradual unintentional change by slow degrees, it goes a lot faster.

The gradual process is death by a thousand cuts. You will be overcome, slowly and by degrees. Acceptance is just falling on the knife and embracing the inevitable. The return journey is like being raised from the dead. Here is how I have seen it;

In imitation of Christ, to die to self (wanting to be straight-m, in this case), taking up the cross (embracing your fate), being crucified without fighting back (allowing yourself to complete this internal progress), and then to preach the gospel to the dead (to bring to this femininity the desire that you change from female to male), at the last becoming resurrection, both for you and all the dead (the restoration of your desire to be male heterosexual, and the restoration of your sexual desires as well; in undoing each and every step in your descent in reverse) and ultimate glorification of your restored body, and ascension into heaven (transcending the blank default state of male hetero virginity from which you began, and ascending to the heights of a loving matrimonial relationship with a woman).

As Jesus said, "let every man deny himself, take up the cross and follow me." and "he that seeks to save his life shall lose it, and he that loses his life for my sake and the gospels, the same shall save it."

And yet still other Scriptures. As it is written, "Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me." (Romans 7:20)

There is hope in Jesus, and following him will lead us out of this, if we endure to the end (as he said, "he that endures to the end shall be saved").

I apologize for writing you a novel, and I hope this has helped you. Christ be with you.

 

Lmao and just like all the rest, you default to the same jargon when you're faced with the truth of your own error. Yeah, okay. I'm close minded because I see through your shit like a psychic. Who are you, anyway? Seriously. Who the hell are you?

You come into this thread talking about "yeah be sex positive what's wrong with being a sissy whatever whatever," but yet you have nothing to show. Yall alway talking about some shit with nothing to show. Where tf can you go and show me any real ass tangible benefits to indulging in that bullshit? Are YOU a sissy? Can YOU even OWN UP to that? Much less come in here and prescribe it for someone else? Really? Aha! Naaaaw... THIS is why I took a break from this site. I get so ready to fight sooo bad when I run into this shit.

Alexa... play knuck if u buck

 

I appreciate you are trying to help roady but it isnt only why i do nofap. I have a chastizemint fetish.

 

i havent worn its the thrill that someone has told me when i release. unfortunately its expensive service Have a nice day Roady!

 

nofap is worth trying. I will see the result if i manage 90 days!