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Lurking tempting desire

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by -DR, Oct 27, 2020.

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  1. Oct 27, 2020 #1
    -DR

    -DR Fapstronaut

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    I've been abstaining from masturbation for 114 days, from sex for 387 says, and from sentimental relationships for 382 days. This brought me greater productivity, better grades, and I've been working out almost everyday since the end of August. Yesterday, I had a hard University exam, for which I had to pull some all-nighters to study. As a result, today I was completely exhausted. The tiredness lead me to think that I would enjoy being in a sentimental relationship. I know full well that it's a lie: my life only improved since I stopped dating. I feel quite upset at my brain for saying this lie to me, but it's not the first time that it did. In moments of weakness, something whispers to my very soul "you'd be better off in a relationship". I don't want one; that would be disastrous for my career and for my new lifestyle, so I'm asking: is there a way to silence these thoughts for good?
     
    -DR, Oct 27, 2020
    -DR, Oct 27, 2020
    #1
  2. Oct 27, 2020 #2
    False promise

    False promise Fapstronaut

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    I think the fact that you have thoughts whispering to you that you’d be better off in a relationship is alarming. I think you should remain indifferent. Do not actively try to avoid getting in a relationship nor actively try to pursue one.
     
    False promise, Oct 27, 2020
    False promise, Oct 27, 2020
    #2
  3. Oct 28, 2020 #3
    -DR

    -DR Fapstronaut

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    Last time I was indifferent to these thoughts I found myself simping. I agree with you that these thoughts are alarming, so how do I stop them for good? @False promise
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2020
    -DR, Oct 28, 2020
    -DR, Oct 28, 2020
    #3
  4. Oct 28, 2020 #4
    False promise

    False promise Fapstronaut

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    If you were simping than you weren’t indifferent. You’ll have to ask yourself these questions to dig deeper and find out why those thoughts are appearing. However, it’s likely that you are lacking purpose in your life. If you have nothing to strive for, nothing that requires focus and discipline, your brain will be more likely to suggest things to satisfy your emptiness. You’re looking to fill a void.
     
    False promise, Oct 28, 2020
    False promise, Oct 28, 2020
    #4
  5. Oct 28, 2020 #5
    -DR

    -DR Fapstronaut

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    Well you're not wrong, but not right either. Let's say I reached my purpose in life, which was entering the business school I'm attending rn. Studies already require 58% of my time (the remaining time is spent sleeping, commuting, working out, and eating), taking a huge share of my discipline and focus. Getting the day busier won't be healthy. You say that to make it stop I should find a purpose in life. Finding a new one, one that goes beyond my graduation, won't happen overnight though.
    For the time being, I'd say that simply staying indifferent won't do, and it showed. I'd rather fight these thoughts actively. Would you recommend?
     
    -DR, Oct 28, 2020
    -DR, Oct 28, 2020
    #5
  6. Oct 28, 2020 #6
    False promise

    False promise Fapstronaut

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    Finding a purpose is just a gateway to becoming content with your life as it is. It sounds like you already have a lot to live for. For you it could be as simple as a shift in your mindset.
     
    False promise, Oct 28, 2020
    False promise, Oct 28, 2020
    #6

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