You want to kill yourself because you're a pedophile? What's your story/how did you become a pedophile? What made you do it?
OP, give this a read: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/hearing-“voices”.295544/ By the sound of it, you’re being harassed by the spirit of death. You got your issue that Jesus can help, but since you don’t know Jesus yet, the spirit of death is taking advantage of the situation to drive you off the cliff.
Peace be with you. Let yours become a story of hope for others who want to change. Think of one tiny tiny tiny tiny thing that was good over the last while. It can be the tiniest thing. Maybe it was just a breath of fresh air. Maybe it was a piece of music. Maybe it was the colour of a leaf, or some stained glass window, or anything. Maybe it was just the fact that you have a roof and walls to keep bad weather out, and a door so you can go outside. They may seem silly, but honestly thinking of such little things as that help me get through tough times. Sometimes it is more a choice to make them interest me than an instinctive sense of interest, but once you make that choice things start looking brighter. There is always hope. Fall down 7 times, get up 8. Fall down 100,000 times, get up 100,001. I believe in you. There is help out there for you, please reach out. https://thelowdown.co.nz/ https://depression.org.nz/ These could be useful, but I'm sure there is more local, professional help out there for you if you just reach out. Keep going!
Try and get help. I'm a firm believer in second chances and opportunities to make amends. I don't know any of what your going through but I went to AA when I had a beer drinking problem/lifestyle. I'm hoping you try to make it right with yourself and those you may have hurt. Get some help
Don't there is so much for you to live for, I read your post it's such a difficult subject but it doesn't make you a bad person and doesn't mean your life isn't worth living. Think about those who you will miss and those who will miss you. Somebody I knew recently took his own life and I think about him nearly everyday, I can't help but wish I could tell him how much he means to me but now I can't do let that happen to others. You're not alone, you can reach out, to a hotline or through psychiatry, what you desire doesn't make you a bad person and it certainly doesn't make your life not worth living. You're not any less of a human being Matt, there are ways to control your urges without acting on them, I know they're difficult but they are possible!
As someone who believes in rebirth, suicide only makes things worse as it lays the ground work for an extremely shitty start in your next life. When I am at my lowest, it is my fear that rebirth is real that stops me from ending my life. I've also found it helpful to practice generosity. You have it within your power to go buy a big mac and give it to a homeless person. It wont solve all your problems, but you will feel a bit better for a little while.
I have similar thoughts about suicide and the afterlife, but I say this in all sincerity. Obsessing about future lives is the most extreme form of not living in the moment. No good can come of it. Instead we should focus our thoughts constructively on the present, this life! If you want a reason to fear an "untimely" death, imagine being separated from those you love indefinitely. Furthermore, killing one's self sets an example that may lead others to a similar fate of darkness and sorrow. Hold on to life not out of fear but love for all, including yourself.
Don't put garbage in your head and also on this forum. If u did a crime go confess and save your position. We don't want to say anything regards to your useless question like this