Does porn addiction affect some people worse than others?

Hello new user here, I can safely say consumption of pornographic content has been the single biggest negative effect on my life. When I read comments by people alleging that its not a big deal and articles claiming it is healthy I have never been able to relate in the slightest. Every time I have ever engaged frequently in porn and masturbation in my life, I have

>Felt extremely lazy, literally the feeling when going to sleep except its in my brain all day
>As a result completely disorganised, unfocused, don't clean up after myself
>Felt extremely cynical and lost all motivation
>Swollen neck glands and sore throat
>Skin that feels hot, like gravel or worms are writhing under the skin
>Dry, Tight, burning skin especially around the forehead and sides of the head
>Bruised Stinging in eyes (burst blood vessels?)
>Swollen edges of cheeks (pilous growth?)
>Lost track of what I was doing and working on (homework, musical instrument, etc)
>Feeling of physical weakness
>Bizarre anxiety and paranoia around other people (literally ONLY happens when I have engaged in porn)
>Feeling of numbed emotions, can't feel for other people just this lazy drowsy anxious stupor
>Feeling of numbed enjoyment, cannot enjoy other things around me, just a feeling of numbness and swollen glands unless I push myself into a strenuous exercise
>Feeling of flabbiness in musculature, hot ears and feeling of weightlessness in limbs (cortisol?)
>Sudden onset of highly nihilistic thoughts which triggers the desire to masturbate again and repeat and enhance the whole cycle again
>Memory problems (especially FORGETTING ALL OF THIS and thinking "what's the worst that could happen" while relapsing, as if my memory is being turned off)

These symptoms I get are not just for a few hours after I've fapped by the way. They usually trigger when I wake up after fapping the previous day, and they literally last for DAYS, literally like over half a week and they only get worse (especially the hyper cynicism/apathy/desire to fap again). It's almost always triggered by cynicism, like there's a pathway that's developed in my brain between cynicism and masturbation/porn, so when the masturbation/porn part is activated it stimulates the cynicism part to get started, like a demon possessing you or a cordyceps parasite from The Last of Us. I swear I must have some condition or something because after fapping I don't just feel bad but I feel like I have been physically poisoned, like I have ingested plastic or swallowed shampoo. And the worst thing is I keep going back to it for reasons outlined above, especially after a major argument with friends or family, isolation etc.

I guess I don't really know what to do, I'd really like some advice, but I'm sure about one thing, the people saying masturbation is healthy are full of shit, at least for me. The best things that have worked for me is thinking of where I came from, who I am and what I'm bringing into the future, cultivated masculinity, and especially cutting computer and smartphone use - but the last two are now vital for me under lockdown and I just relapsed this past week and a half and it's really pissed me off

 

Another thing - even when I am in the sort of horny stupor on Pornhub or whatever (i know arousal/masturbation turns your frontal lobe off), I still find a lot of the fetishes that are thrown in your face on those websites disgusting - things like incest, cheating, cuckoldry, abuse, implied cuckoldry, fucked-up social relationships etc. so I turn to looking for more exotic and weird things to avoid those fetishes - things like muslim porn or brasilian porn or cartoon porn/rule 34/hentai etc, and even then I tend to avoid a lot of shit and feel like shit even when I'm fapping. I just fucking hate porn honestly and wish I was never introduced to it.

 

Definitely something wrong with masturbation. It has negative effects on my body and I am almost 100% certain of it. I would be willing to believe I or others may have a genetic difference to other people that makes it affect me more negatively than it does others, because I simply cannot relate in the slightest. And no I wasn't raised christian, I was raised atheist and socialist.

PS i literally have the symptoms I described in the OP right now because I fapped yesterday (i'm from Oceania), definitely no health benefits from this shit, bloodshot eyes skin is crawling and a feeling like the crown of my head is in a clamp, along with insane laziness and weak feeling