Dominant Tendencies

Inflicting pain do you hate them but love them kinda thing. Like getting anger out towards them in a sexual way.


Not an expert may be wrong just an opinion

 

(possible triggers) (warning)
i mean some ppl like it gentle and some like it rough. i met a woman who told me she likes to be chocked during but not with the whole hand, just by the fingertips. so as long as its consensual and ur not hurting the other person (in a bad way) then i think its fine.

 

It's completely up to you how you feel you should be in the bedroom as long as there is consent. I would say think about your natural sexual urges, have you always thought of these things as sexual or are they brought to you from extended and an out of control porn addiction? I had things that I thought were naturally brought to me, fetishes that I thought that I had always had, but then I looked back and found pretty much all of them to have come from my use of porn, my natural escalation to more extreme forms of porn. So be aware of that.

On another note look back at your life, see if there's point were this was triggered, bad relationships with parents lets say or some innocent childhood experience such as hitting girls you fancied, these can all be aspects of your fetishes and sexual preference. I'm not saying that it would be wrong to do such things with consent, each to their own as long as you're not being abusive, but most fetishes have arisen from porn, and that is a fact for most people, not just porn addicts. These things have been normalised and sometimes, that's jut not right. So have a good long think.

It will probably always be in your head even if you think that it is wrong and move away from it, even maybe finding the thoughts sickening with time, but that is there, you just need to learn to understand how you think you should feel; just know the thoughts will return to haunt you if that's the case. I still have the urges to see the things and do the thing I wanted in my darkest periods of my addiction, but I now know what I feel about them and can just take a breath and move away.

Good luck friend, I hoped this helped!

 

It’s a touchy subject and a bit of a chicken-or-egg issue in terms of what came first : your interest in BDSM or your exposure to it in porn.

In my case, I know that I’ve always had dominant impulses and I also knew it wasn’t the mainstream way of doing things. Honestly, I didn’t even know what BDSM was and hadn’t seen it in porn or otherwise until my early 20s. I tried to hide that part of me as much as I could and avoided sex for a number of years. Somehow convinced myself I was vanilla and had more or less vanilla sex with my vanilla parter of 4 years.

When I broke up with him, the floodgates were opened wide. I consumed a lot of pornography, discovered BDSM, and the rest is history. I’m the nicest, most easy-going guy you’d meet on the streets, but in the sheets? Total nasty pig dom top. For me, there’s no dissonance. I am very comfortable with my sexual fetishes and I find partners who also share those interests. While I have some history of childhood emotional neglect, I do not believe it has informed my sexual proclivities. I’m sure some of it is influenced by my past pornography consumption, but most of it is through self-exploration and working through my fantasies with my subs.

What I’m getting at is... it’s important that you look within and find ways to reconcile your sexual interests with the rest of your identity. You mentioned that BDSM isn’t something God would want for anyone, even between husband and wife and even if the wife was into it. I disagree! BDSM is all about consent and I firmly believe that if the two parties are into it, anything they decide on is fair game. Can’t comment on God’s views on the matter... but I haven’t been struck down by lightning yet (haha sorry bad joke. I’m kind of agnostic).

I am biased on the matter, but I believe you would benefit greatly from further exploring your interest in BDSM — in real life, though, not through pornography. It’s not all whips and chains in real life; I spend a great deal of time on aftercare and setting the scene with subs to make sure everyone gets their jollies off, so to speak. Maybe start small? I started by finding a mentor so I could practice BDSM safely. Then, find a nice submissive girl that’s looking to be dominated and you’re golden! It’s divisive in this day and age with feminism and female empowerment , but there are plenty of kinky freaky ladies out there in need of a dominant man to show them the way. I know a couple. And, not surprisingly, they also have few issues reconciling their feminist leanings and their bedroom activities.

It might just be the best sex you’ll have. Try it out with a girl who shares the same interests and find out for yourself.

 

In what way do you want to inflict pain? I’d be careful dude especially if you’re watching loads of porn too! Women love it rough and dominant and that 50 shades bollocks. I think to a point it’s natural for a man to be taking a role of authority in the bedroom. But it could be the need for power and feeling crap about yourself so wanting to project you’re shit onto someone else ( like bullying really!)
Fantasies are just that I guess. But knowing where I’d escalated from over the years you don’t want to be heading towards rape and fucked up illegal stuff. I’ve been to meetings before where a lot of the sex addicts had done illegal stuff and then wanted to be controlling sponsoring etc. If it makes you question your moral compass it’s time to get it in check. Listen Ive tied girls up, spanked them with paddles, spat on them, called them sluts and pushed them into places that they’d enjoyed but probably in an unhealthy way. You’ll find the ones that have been abused are into it because I imagine at their core there is a lot of pain and self hate. So it could be quite deep messy psychological stuff at work. Give them the f of their life get a bit naughty and wild. But respect them they are humans. There’s something dark in all of us and it doesn’t want to encouraging too much and there doesn’t seem to be an end to where this lust goes