Feeling very bad about everything

Hey there zeke27,

Welcome to here, I am glad you made it.

You certainly have a lot going on right now. I can imagine that it might be hard for you to focus on one issue at a time, but I would recommend working on making a key stone habit. This would be something like making your bed every morning, going for a walk regularly, drinking more water throughout the day. Basically find one small thing you can do everyday that you can make a habit of doing.

Personally, I found that once I improved on one area in my life, I chose staying hydrated and walking in front of my house for 15 min, the other bad habits I had, i.e. PMO, got easier to control.

It seems like you have low self-confidence and I am guessing once you start to feel a bit better about yourself through cultivation of a positive habit, many areas of your life will fall into place. Girls will notice your confidence, your family and friends will notice, employers will notice. I hope this helps.

 

Hey man! you almost remind me of me. My addiction started at a young age and that really messed me up in head if you know what i mean. Remember there is nothing wrong with you, you are just as capable as anyone else. Zeke27 you will do great things and have an amazing GF so long as you stay focused. There are two pieces of advice i would give.

#1. Adopt a new Self referential paradigm: Men often carry a Contingent Self esteem, this means your value as a person is defined by your performance or achievements. This is wrong, there is no one above or below you. You are not above the homeless nor are you below the people that have it all. Everyone is human, we all struggle and share this dying planet called earth. Have some empathy for yourself, Hell appreciate the difficult challenges you face. Re-read this daily and everytime your mind strays bring it back. This how you rewire your brain.

#2 Meditate daily: there are many types of meditations to begin i would recommend a focus meditation. Simply sit, Focus on your breath (actually focus) then when your mind strays bring it back. This will Strengthen your mind, improve your confidence and most importantly give you the grounded-ness to fly.

Hopefully this helps you out Zeke27. I spent many years trying to heal I legitimately had to study psychology, interpersonal neurobology, eastern spirituality. If you have any questions or if there is any way i can help you out dm me. No one should have to go through this suck. You got this! Also i do know how genuine confidence works tbh its def a mindbender.

 

Hi Zeke27!
I feel you, life is not easy, especially if you came from a different country then everything is different, no friends, no job and there will be a generation gap for sure between you and your parents and even with other people.

I'm an immigrant too, with not too many friends, and I get very lonely especially with the pandemic

Anyway, from your post I can say you got several problems so let's try to break them down into smaller ones:

1. You lost your job, losing a job is by itself really hard so I don't blame you to feel bad about, set a goal for your self to get a job asap, anything, Starbucks, Cashier,... whatever.. till you find a job try to volunteer and help other people this could open other closed doors for you.
2. Your parents don't understand you and don't listen to you. Yeah, in many cultures complaining is tied with being weak, if you think they can't help then don't bother trying, find a friend who you can trust and tell them about your problems. If finding a friend is hard these days, then try to write journals or what is called morning pages, it helps a LOT I do that whenever I feel bad I try to dump all of my feelings into a piece of paper
3. You don't have enough confidence in yourself. I read that you consider yourself not very attractive and you concluded that it is the reason why girls don't look at you. Well, this is not true, we as humans are not just a picture, and the attraction does not happen just because of our appearance, it is a collection of our behavior, soul, attitude, traits, and appearance. Once I got attracted to a girl that is not that beautiful but because her personality is very charming. Focus on what you can change, and improve.

I wish you happiness, and I understand that you getting through a lot of troubles but try to solve things step by step.
Cheers