Your brain tricking you into thinking about sex and fantasy

you must embrace it and not push it away when you do it will come back 100 times stronger.

 

When you fight it, it seems like you create a duality and it can come back stronger. Somehow just get through the urge. When the urge is gone I feel a great sense of relief.

 

107 days, that is very impressive. I'm always surprised how compelling it still is for people who have good time under their belt.

 

Yes I'm in therapy, and I'm trying to learn to divert myself from it rather than indulge in it or fight it. It's easy to indulge if you do nothing. One of the biggest lessons - these urges really suck.

 

I’m 121 days in an dealing with that big time. I’m under a lot of stress though which is playing a role I know but still. It can be extremely difficult at times to get through the urges/cravings.

 

The brain isn't "tricking you", it is just helping you, that is all its doing. The problem is that it takes a very long time to catch up to your new activities. Other than my quarrel with the phrase I mentioned, my brain keeps trying to help me with fantasies as well. I'm just like, as calmly as I can, "well that was out of the blue, I don't even need that right now, that isn't important to me anymore." I don't try to chase it away or worry about it, I just keep chugging along, like I do with all other thoughts that pop up in my head.

 

Remember that any and every urge is just like a storm: intense but short-lived. This too will pass. Divert yourself and find something to occupy not only your hands but your mind. Music helps me alot.

 

When I was on around 6 months it was more of a physical urge, since that built up over time as you can imagine. I didn't have any perspective about working with the mental aspect at the time.

I think it's more accurate to say the different parts of the brain are not working together, so there's conflict on some level. Also I had a lot of anger, and I believed that would help me "fight harder." In fact, I think THAT is the brain being tricky because it's not like a fight at all. I was completely taken in by the fight idea. It was pretty straight forward and not out of the blue (which I have more now on less days but more mental than physical urges) so that time is pretty much just being worn out and tired out in willpower.

I mean put it this way, if I could either talk to someone calmly and get some perspective in a situation like that vs. someone else who just tries to "motivate" me and "fight harder" - I think my chances of failing are much higher with the fight hard approach, which I didn't even need anyone else to tell me anyway since I was already telling myself that story.

 

It’s hard isn’t it? It feels like your brain is your worst enemy at times. As others have so rightly said , resistance is futile. I am on day 10 , which is small fry I know but this time when I get urges I don’t fight them I acknowledge them. I accept the discomfort and I just wait. They pass. Just because you want to look it doesn’t mean you have to. Even if it is uncomfortable.

 

I’m with you. I’ve been through a lot where I thought my mind was “tricking me.” But my mind is going to be what it is. Sexual attraction is hard wired and extremely powerful. There’s no escaping that reality. I try to build up a resistance equal to that power.

Wish I had the magic answer. You’re thinking the right way, so your mind in that sense is on your side. Stay with that.