Well I relapsed today...after so many trials I feel so bad as always...mostly not because I watched that nonsense but because I can't quit. And its killing me...it's like watching yourself die while living and the worst part is you are doing it to yourself. I'll confess today though. Here's where it started..... How it all begun i first saw that crap when i was about 11years old. My brother put in a CD when the older people were away and it was soooo new...but i got over it quickly. It didn't feel right at all but it was like for 4 minutes.It really got serious when I was 12years in 2017 and early 13. I used to stay up almost all night and i really disorganised my sleeping pattern and i even remember going to see a doctor beacause my dad thought i had a fever at a point.I became soooo rebellious i was very disrespectful to my siblings i didn't wanna do anything. However i didn't know i was really addicted till i tried quitting.I realised that it was destroying my dreams before i even had a chance to clearly build them. I declined in allllll subjects and i was so shy at school i had social anxiety and i was so desperate for praise and attention but deep down i just waned to be loved. I was so weird and sometimes i wish i could go back in time and slap myself hard but that wont fix anything. So I came across NoFap® and I rarely used it but now I know that just like it was a few years ago it's now or never. I want to get a New Grip On Life. I want to do something the future me will thank me for. Only strong people can beat addiction...esp porn addiction. i dont want to do 90days...i want my major goal in life to become Not looking at porn again.I'm 16 btw I've been addicted for 4years now. By God's help I'll make it.
I wish i had your dedication to not look at porn at 16! I started at 17 and it's been with me for 11 years. I tell you the truth: In those 11 years it has done me no favors. I would consider it a major contributor to what has held me back in life. I believe you can exit porn, i believe you can meet your goal, you are starting to see how bad it is at a very early age and that is great! Future you will thank you for sticking with NoFap and don't give up if you relapse. Look at my comment and imagine i am the future you for a second. i don't mean to scare you, but like i said i have used it all my adulthood, i am 28 and i still struggle with porn, and it has blown opportunities for me and i contribute it to my social-phobia. Worst of all, it desensitized my thinking to not feel guilt about it because i used it for so long. I am trying to recover from this but I did not seriously look for help. I believe you are making a very wise choice at your age to seek help and kick the habit. I wish you all the best. And one more thing, you said by God's help you can make it. Yes, by God's help you will 100% certainly manage. If you trust God to free you from porn addiction, he will. Ask him to reveal himself to you and give you the truth and he will. God did not help me because i was not willing to make changes to kick my habit, but he is merciful and i now seek his help to take away my stubbornness and come out of it.
I also wish I had taken the steps which you are taking at the age of 16, my life would have panned out so differently I imagine. My advice would be to avoid drink & drugs. It sounds almost cliche as it's what most parents and elders would say to a youngster, but without the full reasoning behind why you should steer clear. They might say things like "drugs are bad", or "they'll get you into trouble", (which are both in some ways true) but as a young person who naturally is tempted to rebel they will often disregard the sage advice and want to try for themselves or give in to peer pressure. Just having the occasional drink is fine, but if you start sniffing powder and other stuff your brain will forget about the goal to stay away from porn and the urges will takeover. Wishing you the best of luck with your life goals.
I commend you your realization, my friend! In your journey for a porn free life, you must not beat yourself up. Everyday is a wonderful opportunity, a chance to shine and to grow, and a chance to experience life. The addiction will try to sneak in every once in a while, but don't wrestle with it, discard it as the falsity that is, every time it comes. Leave shame and guilt behind, these are the chains that keep us down, make us immobile. Your life is connecting with everything around you always, your breath sees that connection. Make that connection conscious, it is a beautiful thing. And as you grow up without using P your brain is going to learn, it will learn a better way to be. When the pruning stops you will see that your brain is ready to tackle the world in a much better way. May you know the power of your own destiny.
