33 year old with nowhere left to turn

You can do this, man. There are so many great posts to inspire and guide you. Head over to the 'Success Stories' forum and take a look. I found challenges a great way to get motivated in the beginning, and to connect with like-minded people. It'll take you a while, but it's obvious you've got the right attitude to succeed. Good to see you've set up your day counter - not long now till you've broken your longest streak!

 

My best advice for you is to learn to embrace the pain. Find outlets to replace porn with. There's no shortcuts in fighting this addiction. The only way is through. But have hope because there's a multitude of us in the same boat here on NoFap! Find strength in numbers brother! All love!

 

Welcome! You're not alone in the struggle, friend. We're all here, imperfect, yet never giving up.

 

I'm also new to the community, and currently on day 21.
Running for an hour every morning surely has helped me now. Hitting a cold shower after the workout and I am proud of myself for another successful day of being nofap.

 

Welcome. I know the frustration of not being the person you want to be for you and for those close to you. You can do this! You mention "with the help of a supportive community" and I agree. For me, the thing that really made the difference is connecting with a community, i.e. other real human beings who have similar struggles who you can engage in real conversation and get the level of support and accountability that will help you through to the other side. For me, that is a weekly NoFap group who meets on Zoom each week, and can reach out through Telegram in the intervening time when struggling. It is so helpful to hear their stories, voice yours out loud to another live human being, and know that if I do relapse, I will have to be brutally honest with the group, and get their support and non-judgment. Also participate with a SAA group which meets in a similar way each week. A good therapist is also part of my recovery team. Spouse knows of my struggle and it has deeply hurt our relationship, but we are rebuilding that, and with all the work I put in, we are coming back stronger and more emotionally connected and intimate than ever. We do bi-weekly check-ins to talk specifically about this and us, and while it was tough the first several months due the betrayal trauma my actions has caused, we are in a really good place now. I think in the long run, sharing your struggle with your gf is the better way to go, since as you say, she knows something is wrong. But I would encourage you to work with a therapist before you jump to that, if you decide to. Don't know your situation or your gf so make the best determination for you. There is that wall between you due to your secret and isolated behavior, and while she doesn't know about it intellectually, she does emotionally on some level. And encourage you to read and educate yourself on this addiction and try to understand the "why" about this, as to why you went there in the first place, and why you keep going back.

If you already have some semblance of community like that, I apologize for being so long-winded about it. I wish you only the best and have great confidence you can work through to the other side of this.

 

If there is anything we can do to help you out let us know.

 

Hello friend, I just want you to know that even if it's 15 years but if you have decided in your mind to quit porn, that means that warrior in you is still alive and is in need of a power to defeat this evil and the power comes in response to a need. So you have to create that need. You have to think of all the repercussions it would cause you. In this case it's your GF and I know for sure that you will defeat that monster for the sake of your relationship. You are limitless, you just have to realise it. This(porn) is nothing infront of you. Even after 15 years your mind can take a decision to not be controlled by this evil than it means that you can defeat this monster. We all are with you. Do it brother for the sake of your gf and your relationship. Kill that monster within you.

 

You've overcome one of the biggest hurdles that many with an addiction face and that is denial, so props to you for reaching out and admitting to yourself that you have a problem.

You mentioned the word 'community' in your post and i cant stress how important that word is in managing your addiction. Addiction is an extremely isolating thing and it takes us away from any sort of community. Well at least any sort of community that cares about your health and wellbeing.

We've all been in that place where we beat ourselves up about using and make promises to ourselves not to do it again, often after a session. We believe those promises to be genuine and at the time they are. the difficulty is in managing your life and dealing with those unwanted emotions and learning to live according to your morals with support and accountability.

I would recommend counseling but it can also be difficult to find the 'right' counselor and remember you will only be seeing them once or twice a week depending on your budget. the biggest help for me was joining a 12 step fellowship. In combating my cocaine problem i also found many answers to my porn problem too.

The problem isn't the things we use but us, we are the problem and i believe that being part of a supportive community both online and offline will help tremendously and in turn will help you to deal with some the shame and regret.

You should be careful to not place too much burden on yourself by projecting too far into the future, it is better to focus on one day at a time. Just for today you don't have to use

 

Welcome to NF, the fact that you have signed up here shows your desire to change direction Start your own journal-so you can review your ups and downs. Even if you're not always inspired, post anyways, as a reason to be logged onto NF, rather than mindlessly surfing web, exposing yourself to potential triggers...best to you..