So glad I found out about NoFap...

Hi,

I'm 30, and first discovered porn when I was 14, in the early days of the internet. I would say that my addiction probably started then, but it got a lot worse when I moved away from home to university, and had unrestricted access to internet in my room. I never thought it was a massive problem for me, I'd fap maybe once or twice a day, and probably saw it more as a bad habit than a problem or an addiction.

Having stumbled across NoFap and read about pron addiction, I realise that I had way underestimated the impact it was having on life. So much of what I read / watched in the youtube videos clicked with me straight away. The need for novelty in what I was watching; the increasingly odd tastes - nothing ever too weird or extreme, but definitely stuff that I would consider strange and would never have thought of on my own - things I would (and have) been embarrassed suggesting to a partner; the anxiety (especially when i comes to commitment); depression; trouble focusing; the list goes on.

I've realised that I need to kick the habit and move on and grow as a person before it becomes to late and ruins my life. I also realised that it has probably been the root cause behind a couple of failed relationships. I've been lucky not to duffer from ED, but I worry that I wasnt too far off. Certainly there was DE, and when intimate with my most recent partner, I would usually have to finish myself due to presumably desensitisation/ "death grip" issues.

The thing that hurst the most is that I've recently come out of a long term relationship with someone I love very much, and I think it is down to my depression and motivation issues. Before we broke up I was PMO a bit more than usual and found that very little in life interested or excited me.

Anyway. I'm not on day 6 of my reboot. I've had some problems sleeping, and found myself irritable most of the time, and really lonely. I'm not finding any big urges to look at porn, but my cock and balls have a dull tingling sensation that tell me that they want some attention. So far I've been able to deal with it, but its getting quite full on. I just need to stay focussed and keep myself busy. I've not been for a run in years, but I think I'm going to later today to use up my pent up energy.

I'm so glad I found this site. Having read some of the positive outcomes from other fapronauts I just really hope I can do this. I'd love to get out of this emotional black hole and become the man I know I should be.


TLDR version: 30yrs, porn addict since 14, 6 days into reboot, its hard, but together we can do this.

 

Thanks for getting in touch. Its good to know that there are others out there who are going through the same stuff that I am. Yeah, lets keep in touch and help each other out. This is definitely something I wouldn't tell my best mates about, so its great that I found this forum. I already feel that writing about it is helping. Even being anonymous it took a lot of thought before I made my first post. I'm feeling really positive having read some of the success stories. There's some great posts that I've read about coming up with plans and keeping focused, so I'm hoping that I can try and find some new direction in life - this will certainly be good if I start getting some motivation back.

Good luck with it mate, I found the first day or so OK before the urges really started to kick in. I hear what you are saying about wanting meaningful and sensual sex. With my next partner I want to be able to fully give her the love and respect she deserves when we are having sex. Hope your reboot goes well, it sounds like if we can stick to it then we will see some definite changes. What's your plan? I've set myself 90 days, but ultimately I dont want to go PMO ever again. 90 days seemed like a good start.

Its good that you've got the guitar to keep you busy. Last week wasn't too bad as I was really busy at work, so didn't really have much time in the evenings to think about things. I guess I just need to find ways to keep myself busy. However, I found that this weekend has been tough for me as I've not had a lot going on - part of my problem is that now that I'm single I have a lot of time on my hands, so I'm going to have to start getting out there and socialising.

Funnily enough, I bought myself a bass guitar about 10 years ago & never really got into it. This might be a good time to pick it up again & give me something to focus on.

keep it real.